Three Submissions

Three MAJOR submissions down, another four to go. CAD and Design and Akicon and systems due tommorow. And then there is exams, but lets not think abt it till after Design Submissions, yeah?

Wow, I've forgotten the meaning of sleep. I need to replace the sleep, but I'm not sure how many days I have to replace. The madness started what? Last week? Two weeks ago? Can't rmb. Whatever it is, I don't think I've slept much for some time, I'm just not sure when it started. @@

Failure...is only a battle in the war. What matters is I pick myself up, learn from past mistakes. It's the picking myself up that matters.

haha. notice I have resigned myself to failure in P4.

Nice song:


Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

*But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

*chorus

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

*chorus

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth

Life is Changing

Life is changing, inherently, innately, slowly, imperceptibly.

Life curves.

I'm still stuck for design. And Akicon is leeching the strength out of me. :(

Blown

Yeah, I blew.



She told him she'd rather fix her makeup
Than try to fix what's going on
But the problem keeps on calling
Even with the cellphone gone
She told him that she believes in living
Bigger than she's living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
And upsidedown
Don't say so long, and throw yourself wrong
Don't spend today away
Cuz today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is
Gone, just trying to prove me wrong
And pretend like you're immortal

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow
Brings us one step closer to the edge (infinity)
Where's your treasure, where's your hope
If you get the world and lose your soul
She pretends like she pretends like she's immortal
Don't say so long
You're not that far gone
This could be your big chance to makeup
Today will soon be

Gone, like yeterday is gone,
Like history is gone,
The world keeps spinning on,
Your going going gone,
Like summer break is gone,
Like saturday is gone
Just try to prove me wrong
You pretend like your immortal your immortal

We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We're so confident
In our accomplishments
Look at our decadence

Gone, like Frank Sinatra
Like Elvis and his mom
Like AL Pacino's cash nothing lasts in this life
My highschool dreams are gone
My childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn't last for long

Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash,
Life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred dollar bills
And roto-tom fills
Life's more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings
End up in wills we got information in the information age
But do we know what life is
Outside of our convenient Lexus cages

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow
Brings us closer to the God who's not short of cash
Hey Bono i'm glad you asked
Life is still worth living, life is still worth living

I like Switchfoot.

I Am Going To Blow

I am going to blow soon. Just take away the stress, please. And the weather is not helping.

It's HOT outside and freezing cold in studio...

Another Walk into Faerie

There are times when the lure of fancy and faerie become too much, and I give in and escape into these lands...as I walk alone through empty pathways late at night and the cold wind blows...another world comes to the fore, away from mundane, everyday life...

Sometimes you can imagine that the puddle of rainwater on the road is a mirror into another world, a shadow wraith is standing behind a tree and the mist is its breath. Soft dripping sounds of rainwater become the tinkling laughter of faerie balls in faerie halls.

Maybe, maybe if you step the correct number of steps, turn at the exact, magical moment of say, 2.33am just at this corner...

Then the bird on the tree, singing the morning song, is no longer a bird...perhaps it is one of those magical creatures who exist on different planes in different shapes...a parallel world.

How liberating these escapes are...how delightful! How I wish I could escape there and live another life, rather than the mundane one I am living now, with deadlines and responsibilities and 'societal norms'...

shall I escape into a soundscape, a dreamscape...

My dreams are getting more and more vivid, weird dreams that I remember when I awake, laugh at and continue my day.

I have a submission for urban design tomorrow, and I haven't started. :)

I'm in that mood. Do you know how cities can fascinate one so?

City lights, the streets of gold...look down my window to the world below...I feel so cold, I'm all alone....

Some people love city life, the coldness of it, the starkness of individualism. Touch and go relationships, no strings attached. City life is a way of life. Small groups of friends, you can see the same lady in the train every weekday for 5 years and not know her name.

What is the heartbeat of a city? Can you hear it? Thump thump, dup dup...is it the people? If you transport the people of Las Vegas to Detroit, will the Detroit sound like Vegas? Is it the activities carried out there? What makes a city? What determines the boundaries?

I rather liked the scene in Hellboy (watched it last holidays, haha...dad gave us a sheaf of cds and asked us to watch them, rate them, and tell him if it's worth watching) Hellboy is okay, I loved the symbolism in it, and the visuals were stunning. The ending was totally predictable, although I rather liked the idea of the blue aqua man falling in love with the beautiful princess of the underworld. I loved the design of the ballroom (not the architecture, it's a different world) because it kind of suggested the feelings that I got from the book Johnathan Strange and Mr Norell by Susanna Clarke, a story of the Magicians in London in an alternate universe.

Oh yeah, I've digressed, anyway, the part where the last of the behemoths is destroyed in the city...well, i like that scene. It's eleven. Okay, fine. Urban design, I'm back.

I Will Run To You

Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

Haha, I just have to mention two little boys in my Sunday School class. Oh drats why did I miss last week?

After worship, every one got off the mats to put on their shoes. Two little boys sat down directly in front of me legs spread out and stared up with beseeching eyes:

E: Teacher, I cannot put on my shoes.
J: Teacher, I also cannot put on my shoes.
T: Hmm, really? Why don't you try? Put on your socks first...
E: But teacher, I really don't know...
J: Me neither...

E played around with his socks for a while...then

E: Teacher, help me put on my shoes...
T: You must try yourself first, can? Look, take your socks like this, and...hurry up, everyone is waiting for you...

E looks at me, and then puts on his socks.

J: Teacher, I really don't know...

J fiddles with his socks. E finished putting his on, and then took one of J's socks and put it on for him...badly...

Teacher is getting quite impatient. She takes J's socks and promptly puts it on...then she takes E's shoes and puts it on. And then she puts on J's shoes as well, all the while saying: You both must quickly learn how to put on your own shoes, can? Very old already. See all the other children are looking at you...they all can put on their own shoes and socks!

Up till now I have no idea whether they actually know how to put on their socks and shoes or they were just putting one on me. Haha.

Nyways, their names are Elias and Joel, and they are the naughty alright. But so adorable.

This is My Desire

G Em C G D
This is my desire: to honor You.
Em D G F C D
Lord with all my heart I worship You.
G Em C G D
All I have within me, I give You praise.
Em D G F C D
All that I adore is in You.

G D
Lord I give You my heart,
Am C D G
I give You my soul, I live for You alone.
D
Every breath that I take,
Am
Every moment I'm awake,
C D (Em) G
Lord have Your way in me.

Help

yesterday i was chionging for akicon, the night before for phoenix and akicon the night before the night before for akicon and tonight i have to finish one presentation+one A3 for urban design. my life. is. very. tiring. nowadays. thursday morning is now my site visit to mustafa (we are setting off at 6am)

i forgot to go for children's church last sunday. I think I am in trouble. I am so in trouble. my brain is degenerating. i can't even get sick or i don't have time to finish my projects. deadlines. deadlines. DEADlines.

Been reading ecclesiastes:

Ecclesiastes 3

There is a time for everything...(when I read it I snorted because right now I don't have time for anything other than my aki core modules) (but then I guess this is the time for aki core modules)...11God has made everything beautiful for its own time. he has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. (Daddy likes to use this verse to explain how if we search hard enough we will eventually find God. Because eternity has been planted in our hearts, and we know what is true when we find it.)12So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and enjoy themselves for as long as they can.13And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God. (I wonder if I ever will enjoy the fruits of my labor haha)

17I said to myself, "In due season God will judge everyone, both good and bad, for all their deeds." (I liked this verse very much...I used to think of judgment as something quite scary, but this verse dispelled that: God will judge both good and bad...He is truly a just God, and I bet He likes to turn a little bit of good into huge portions of goodness, and leave the bad as it is. Which is the Kingdom of Heaven, as mom is wont to say.)

18Then I realized that God allows people to continue in their sinful ways so he can test them. That way, they can see for themselves that they are no better than animals...22So I saw that there is nothing better for people than to be happy in their work. That is why they are here! No one will bring them back from death to enjoy life in the future.

This was written by Solomon, a very wise man. And I think what he writes is very relevant to our lives. Right now I am going through a very hectic period, and I do not seem to have time to do anything other than work and sleep as much as I can without compromising my work and fit meals in between. But as Solomon hints: if I just do my work and don't take notice of other things...am I not like an animal? And if I start realizing this, then I think about it...I am not like an animal after all...because I think of these. I start becoming aware (which is what art does...so art isn't entirely useless, though people like to think so)

As Solomon says, we don't find meaning in life through our multitude of activities. In everything we do, let us do it in ways that please Him, and with a good and happy attitude.

Well, I think I have to get back and ENJOY my work! Hahahahaha (wry laughter, for now...)

Actually my work is very enjoyable. There is just too much of it, and everything has to get done. I would love it if I had a week longer of time than what I have right now.

Getting Priorities Straight

Been trying to get down to thinking about this issue, but I have always been too exhausted. In fact, I am exhausted now, and have come down with the flu.

It's been such a tiring few days...Akicon and Environmental Systems and Urban Design and Phoenix...I'm having to travel to three different sites concurrently and all of them are in the city.

Well, I have realized that once you let your priorities slip somewhere, that particular thing will suddenly start taking a backstage in your life. So I have to fix my priorities NOW, and never, ever change it.

So now I'll get back to Phoenix...Oh no, I can't get sick before P4 starts! I have to sleep tonight.