why do we hide?

this photograph was taken in orchard central

i think i'm hiding something
i think i'm not daring to do something
so it fades out, like a polaroid
but maybe it's more beautiful that way

i have to try this
owow, this too
perhaps i need to do it myself
aren't these adorable
christmas!
i might try coffee if it were made this way

i'm going home i'm going home i'm going homeee!!! YAYAYAYYAAYYY!!!

but packing is a chore
but I'M GOING HOMEHOMEHOMEHOMEHOMEEE!!!!!! :))))))))))

but somehow, i was feeling kind of down today, a little bit...for no reason (i should be really happpyy!! i going homegoinghomegoinghome!!) but for some reason i felt moody, and just couldn't smile genuinely...just felt like frowning and being irritated by loud noises coming from the construction work going on.

i wonder why i don't blog like i used to anymore. perhaps i've stopped thinking about important things. i picked up my Bible again today, and i wondered how long it's been since i actually studied it.

I'm drifting, further and further, into the ways of the world?
my life i feel, is dreadfully shallow...

there must be more to life than this
than trying to do well in school

but maybe it's also a time to learn patience
to wait

well, i don't know
i trust He has good plans for me :)

and all the funny faces

this is me

i smell truffle omelette

i got squashed

i ate too much

hi there, i'm sorry but you just failed your exams

0.0

...and eyebags

yeah

GRIT

hehe

i really like this pic!!

...

smile, goofy

this was insect, really, but never mind

alien!

gaily has this app on her phone which does some rather amazing stuff...i'm into the polaroid effect right now due to random surfing through some awesome food blogs, so now my blog will be polaroided until i get tired of the idea. i want to get a polaroid camera but i figure i shouldn't, because i have too many cameras already (craig is coming next semester) (craig is my slr, he doesn't look as cool as the older slrs (such as christy's mxmolulu) but he's film, and we're going to have some fun next semester! i want a holga and a diana too, but until i own my own place, shifting several cameras around is gonna be a chore.

of marshmallows and marriage

i think i will marry someone who makes me homemade marshmallows. i tried making them twice before, but they've never been successful.

i can't wait to get home!

home

i'm gonna be home soon
:)
gonna see everyone again!!! AYAYAYAYAYAY!!
too bad mom and dad and giddy would be flying off the night i arrive. too bad i have hall stuff to do on monday or i would be home today. heh.

i love polaroids
awesome feel

蕾

上の音楽私にとても好きです！これ音楽はコブコロ（日本のバンド）を歌うです。東京タワ初めてを聞きました。東京タワはわたし大好きの日本語ドラマ。
その影さけは可愛いですね！
i really like that song above! the song was sung by kobukuro, a japanese band. i first heard this song in 'tokyo tower', one of my favorite japanese dramas.
those shadow owls are so cute!!

”蕾”は英語で 'flower bud' です。
"tsubomi" means "flower bud in english.

my japanese is still too cmi to do very much with, haha. and my grammar can die one.

i feel quite happy today though. for the first time in ages, i got up, pottered around, the decided i was still tired, so went back to sleep, then got up again when i felt like it, wondered what to have for lunch, then pottered around a bit...and got bored...so now i'm thinking of going out and getting presents for my family. but i think i cannot continue this lifestyle. i will die of boredom.

i visited the young designers portfolio show yesterday with lai mei, clarence and evy. i looked through some of my senior's portfolios and felt quite awed by the work they have done, especially one of them called micki who did some awesome work for his master's project. it's not entirely to my taste, but the amount of research and work+the awesome graphics he created in the process is totally breathtaking and is something i want to pursue with the same gungho when i'm in year 5.

but i know there is so much to learn, so many things to master, so many skills to build up. looking back, i realize that there are so many of us with fantastic ideas 'in our minds', we know how it ought to look like, all the little details...but when it comes to expressing the ideas, and bringing it to life in the form of graphics and models (and, in the future, reality)...somehow the idea is watered down and doesn't do justice to it. so skills are extremely important and have to be mastered as fast as possible.

gaily said that it was weird that we would go to design festivals even after exams and submissions...come to think of it, why aren't we sick of design after all the designing we've done in the semester? then i figured we don't get sick of it because somehow designing isn't like studying or memorizing something, it's more like constantly striving for perfection and beauty, and we love looking for perfection because no one has ever found it yet, except for God. So that is why a lot of us in architecture and other design courses love things like photography and graphic design, because we want to capture something that is elusive to us, because we are mere humans. so we keep searching, and when someone goes close to it, we see it and learn from it, so that we may attempt it ourselves.

かも。。。
maybe...

haha...anyway, why so serious? i'm going out already, i cannot stand this.

darn, but it rained. haha

おわります！！

日本語の試験はおわりましょね！
：））））
上の絵でイルラステレタを描きます、イルラステレタはすごいですね。
今、全部試験がありませんでした。
明日何をしますか。

いいですね

heartbreak and random stuff

hearts are very easy to break you know
i think i am heartbroken
:(

do you know how that feels?
aight, i know i heartbreak easily and it's mainly my fault haha

and my heartbroken-ness is always usually imaginary because i like to invent situations to be in. being heartbroken seems kind of the right sort situation to be in right now. erm, well. i suppose i'm crazy haha.

oh btw the above image was done with illustrator! i wish my com din lag whenever i use it though.
:)

eh, i admit i made up the story of being heartbroken because i happened to draw that pic while playing with illustrator. haha. but maybe i am heartbroken. how i know? why did i draw that pic and not any other pic? eh? ask freud.

or maybe i'm just kind of bored. owarimasu already. i need to get out of this room. and it needs a cleanup

haha, so what about all that stuff about waiting? well, actually, i really do want to wait...this song just seemed kind of right for this situation. oh actually i'm confused. perhaps one day, i'll be brave enough to ask: --さん、--のコンサートいっしょにいかがですか。

i'm creating situations! this entire blog post is a dud!! i'm going crazy and i need to go out @@

of sunsets and paper wings

i suddenly feel like a very boring person. this is the first time i've been bored to death after submissions and totally not feel like writing anything in my blog.

this blog will die soon. or become less and less personal.

i've been studying for my japanese test, but without much enthusiasm. the test is 30 percent, and i feel nothing much can be done to save my grade anyway, so why kill myself over it? but it's getting quite enjoyable, and i wish i had this much time during the semester to study japanese...

i've learned an awful lot this semester, about architecture and about life. it hasn't really been wasted.

i had the weirdest dream just now. i dreamed i went out in search of the perfect soft boiled egg. and i saw so many delicious soft boiled eggs all over the place and i was certain that would be the ONE. but then none of them really were...

btw my idea of the perfect soft boiled egg is the one where the yolk is JUST SET but still slightly runny, and the whites are all white but not quite set. well, i'll know it when i eat it lor. and add pepper and soy sauce and you have my dream breakfast...oh! with hot milo in those white porcelain cups on a small round marble table...white toasted bread with slatherings of homemade kaya and thick squares of butter. 美味しいですね！

i think gaily's description of the yih breakfast may have something to do with this weird dream of mine.

i've been getting chocolate cravings too. and i want to go jog tonight!! :))) i haven't jogged for so long...i think i will die but it will be an awesome sort of dying.

i love running because it makes me feel happy because i can think. you know the best time to think is when your legs are working building up lactic acid and getting slightly sore and the moon is over your head and your breath is coming at very consistent intervals and the thud of your feet on the track is becoming rhythmic.

and you are alone and you don't have to talk. and then it's just you and your mind and the universe and God.

i just changed my shampoo and the smell is very strong. everytime i change shampoo i become very aware of the smell, and then after a while i cannot smell it anymore.

chocolate rocks, so does marshmallows.

i want to see the sunset!! I want to see 44 sunsets within a day.

i want to see the sunrise with someone special. and years into the future i want to see the sunset with the same person and remember the special sunrise. pleasantly.

i want to jump off a cliff and realize i can fly.

i can't wait to get home. i need to get a bdae present for my mom (bdae on 27th nov) my dad (bdae on 4th dec) my sis and bro (both bdaes on 16th dec). i need to get christmas presents for everyone. heh. but i'm not sure what to get leh...

life is kind of beautiful :)

baubab

...oh and your baubab tree, it split my planet into a million little pieces

how nice it would be if all the little children retained their innocence and knew a little less about 'the real world' and knew more about fairyland and the little worlds in their imaginations...and maybe one day our world will be less of the 'real world' and more of a 'real-er world'...

how nice it would be if i loved to draw again, and loved to make pretty things, and loved to play and dream and think...while sometimes architecture makes me happy sometimes i'm just too tired to be happy...

how nice it would be to love :) i want my naive rose, thorns and all

samson

i love the way there are layers of meanings, all ambiguous. the best sort of stories are those that leave it to you, that if you stop and think for a while you can weave several stories from it, all off the top of your head. and you never know if it's true, so you just keep thinking of new stories, and all from a single song, or a single sentence from that song.

what a lovely way to spend a lazy saturday afternoon...

oh i do like regina spektor

oh and aren't all the origami beautiful? i wish architecture was anything you wanted it to be...other than tutors looking at what you do and saying: is that architecture? isit? how do they know what architecture is? or maybe...we're supposed to fight back.

infinite space

take me someplace
where there's infinite space

i'm feeling vaguely claustrophobic...i think i want to go somewhere with gigantic huge giant open space so that i can scream and holler and run and play and let myself go....but i think not in the above space (although it's awesome) because i might fall off the sides (but would that matter? it sounds somewhat liberating)

submission is almost owarimasu! i slept 16 hours last night :)

the large inflamed pimple on my left cheek has gone down significantly...the wonders of a good night's sleep..hahaha.

you know, one rather sad thing about life is that when it comes to other people, well, you can't make them feel how you want them to feel. sometimes, we just have to move on...even though there's still that little hope inside your heart.

hope can be both a wonderful thing, and a really painful one :(

uninspired

Consult the genius of the place in all;
That tells the waters to rise, or fall;
Or helps th' ambitious hill the heav'ns to scale,
Or scoops in circling theatres the vale;
Calls in the country, catches opening glades,
Joins willing woods, and varies shades from shades,
Now breaks, or now directs, th' intending lines;
Paints as you plant, and, as you work, designs.

Alexander Pope
Epistle IV, to Richard Boyle, Earl of Burlington

a little uninspired about design right now. need a good poem to cheer me up. wish randy were here. and even douglas darden's book condemned buildings, the guy who made me realize that architecture could be dark and sensual and beautiful....is borrowed out :(

of hearts and souls and fragility

image via photopost

'tis a morning thing, this dreamland, this strange, wild consciousness. i spoke once of faery, but this is real. where back then young minds filled with awe at that bewitching midnight hour, this budding mind hovering at that sharp edge of irresponsible youth and craggy maturity finds a similarity in the transitory world just before the mellow fires of dawn glow in shy blushing beauty in friendly morning skies.

that today will be a better day...for as always, there is hope

as for why half my posts are gone...well i've gone through a couple hours of heavy depression (this is how i cope, i delete blog posts and/or shut down my blog) and i needed those poems down there for sustenance.