...and no one ever mentioned fear...

oh nooo, i think i'm obsessed. hahahaha. shan't tell you what with.

today's message was SO TOTALLY NEEDED.

woot, i think God's trying to tell me something...

just shortly after friday's counselling session with the parents, i realized that i was saying no to tons of things...like this: "i'm not good enough, i cannot do this, i shouldn't try, i know myself well enough to know this is way out of my ability range etcetc..."

so, it occured to me that this verse was in order (thus, an extension to quiet time was established that night):

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self discipline.

yeth. and today's message was about limiting God. and i realize that whenever i say i can't, it won't happen, i know i cannot do it...i am limiting God...because when God says he can do anything, he can do anything, and that is it. just needs my faith to let it happen.

i guess there is the argument that if God turns something white can he turn it black at the same time...well whatever. since God is the creator of time i suppose He could. but anyway, that isn't relevant.

oooh, i love the part in the Bucket List where the secretary says to carter: "no, my name is actually Matthew but he calls me Thomas because he thinks Matthew is too biblical."

hahaha, ok sorry, digressed.

well, so the conclusion to the story is, i should stop saying i can't because i am afraid. i should say i can and go forth with the power, the love, and the self discipline and do what I SHOULD do...and not be afraid any longer.

...and no one ever mentioned fear...

because there must be no fear to start with...the only fear we need is the fear of God.

darn, i'm feeling rather afraid...hahahha...life is full of surprises...so many i think i want to just fall back and laugh my heart and head and everything off...

yeah...maybe then i'll feel better.

ohkay, tmr, i will remove this...but for tonight at least:

I HATE SINGAPORE. HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU WITH A BURNING PASSION

wishing i never went. wishing i just stayed in malaysia and then i could see mom and dad everyday and my brother wouldn't miss me because i'm the only sister he sees less often and (brings presents back with me).

yeah

step of faith? whatever...i just feel sad now, let me feel sad and tmr i will be myself again, caught up with work and moaning over THAT.

i never knew

image via etsy

i never knew that returning to singapore could get me so down
i never knew that family was so important to me
sigh

i just want to stay here can...

sometimes i realize how much i don't know about myself. sometimes i realize that i feel alot more than i think i do.

i never knew i was so emotional.

just let me find that joy again...perhaps float and crazy hard work will help me forget my misery

i feel kind of self-centered. just refused to help someone fix a computer virus tmr afternoon at her place because i have to pack tomorrow...i vaguely remember a past me would help no matter what, and pack in the middle of the night.

what am i transforming into?...i need to get back on track, get my life into shape.

i probably can't help her anyway, right. virus removal isn't exactly a specialty of mine, but it piques me i cannot help.

and packing won't take me alot of time. why did i refuse.
depression is usually caused by too much free time to dwell on oneself, and too much self pity

me, i myself must be thrown out the window and priorities returned to where they belong hahah i am amazed by my stupidity, come let us be grateful

and above all, pray

lol, you know, typing all that morose things up there made me feel much happier...

bucket list har...bucket list!! I LOVE THE SHOW!! LOVE IT!!

exam results+day out with the soulmate :)

thank God my CAP's improved :)
badak and belalang cannot make it leh. mom and dad need me end june.
too bad. :(

facebook got it very wrong. i have a fantastically beautiful soulmate :)

that's a pint :P

she has great taste in food!

great taste in friends :)

great taste in restaurants...

that is a cool shelf...

when i'm older i will own a small restaurant and have shelves like these

lemme tell you that cheesecake is fabulous :)
earl grey sends me to the toilet, unfortunately...

had talk with daddy and mommy just now, a kind of share all the knowledge they have session...it can be very irritating and very enlightening. i learn alot from this sessions, and i learn alot of patience too. we usually have these sessions whenever i'm bound back for singapore hehe...

i've been feeling depressed lately, i think it's because i'm bound back for singapore.

well, like daddy says, i do feel my priorities are as follows:

1)relationship with God
2)relationship with my immediate family
3)my studies...everything else that is important to me and doesn't fall into the above two categories :)

parkinson's laws (and more):

1) Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

2) work expands if you don't do it right the first time.

well, i get alot of words of wisdom to chew on, at any rate. :)

i am so glad that i have parents who do this to me leh...

oh let me learn from everyone, from the road sweepers, from the beggar on the street. to be able to humble myself and realize that i can learn from everybody, and everyone in this world knows things i could never imagine and i never know and so i can learn from them...

it's so silly we have hierarchy. it's required here on earth i'm sure. but in heaven i believe some principles of communism could be implemented, when we have God at the helm. i think communism is a great idea. just it probably won't work here on earth.

hahaaha. don't stuff me in jail under the isa ok.

if you could read my mind

If You Could Read My Mind
Gordon Lightfoot

If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
bout a ghost from a wishin well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as Im a ghost that you cant see
If I could read your mind love
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel
The kind that drugstores sell
When you reach the part where the heartaches come
The hero would be me
But heroes often fail
And you wont read that book again
Because the endings just too hard to take

Id walk away like a movie star
Who gets burned in a three way script
Enter number two
A movie queen to play the scene
Of bringing all the good things out in me
But for now love, lets be real
* I never thought I could act this way *
And Ive got to say that I just dont get it
I dont know where we went wrong
But the feelins gone
And I just cant get it back

If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
bout a ghost from a wishin well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
But stories always end
And if you read between the lines
Youll know that Im just tryin to understand
The feelins that you lack
I never thought I could feel this way
And Ive got to say that I just to get it
I dont know where we went wrong
But the feelins gone
And I just cant get it back

i love these lyrics, i love the tune...i love that it's nearly poetry. i love the powerful images the lyrics conjure in my mind. i love that each and every phrase grasps my imagination and makes me feel there is more to the song than meets the eye.

this is a song i can just keep listening to. don't ghosts from wishing wells and castles dark and fortress' strong just stir the imagination? paperback novels, the kind the drugstore sells...

addicted! and daddy was the cause...he's yodeling it in front of me, because i just informed him that the lyrics could be obtained online. :)

A Forgotten Island Romance

A forgotten Island Romance

We are sitting inside IceIceBaby, next to Starbucks, thanks to Shereen. We have no internet connection.

the other one is taking the photo

Who are we? We are a group of investigators, searchers of lost stories. We find them out, and then we tell them.

We also help souls who have lost part of themselves, find them.

Today we have a story for you. It is a love story. A story of Prince Charming and a Lady of the Waters. It is a true story, as are all our stories.

Batu Feringgi Beach

he had trekked a long way (reproducing the scene)

It happened four years ago, this romance which lasted half that time. And where? Along the white beaches of Batu Feringgi, near the cold rocks and warm sand. He met her sitting upon the rocks, watching the gloomy wet sky. Weary from camping and seeking solitude, he had trekked quite a long way.

When he saw her, it was love at first sight. It was the long hair that did it. Our handsome prince had a thing for long hair in girls, the longer the better. Hers was one of the longest he had ever seen, all the way down to her heels. I’m kidding. Maybe to her waist. But whatever it was, it was love at first sight. Also, she was not very tall. She had to be a bit short, being that our prince was not particularly tall himself. And her eyes! Large as goldfishes! He fell for everything about her.
When he saw her, the gloomy skies cleared. The sun came out, and it set! The gods must be looking kindly down at them. How more romantic could it get?

striking a 'manly' pose

She saw him, and he struck a ‘manly’ pose. Or so he thought. Luckily her eyes were brimming with tears, so she did not see him very clearly.

“Oh! Why are you crying, lady?” our Prince Charming asked, Charmingly (that was his surname lah). “Would you like to see me dance?”

And so he jumped and pranced (for that was his specialty) and she laughed! She laughed, a lovely tinkling laugh. And he was smitten then. He knew his heart was forever taken from that second onwards.

romantic dinner at The Ship

He asked her if she would have dinner with him…and lo, she agreed! With a happy heart he took her hand, and together they walked to The Ship for a romantic dinner, with the (rather cute) waiters in sailor suits. There, she also started falling for him, because he was such a kind, nice Prince. They then went for a night stroll under the starry night sky…

“Isn’t it romantic?” said our Prince. (The song Starry, Starry Night started playing, I don’t know how). “To walk along this beach, just you and I, and the universe above our heads? Who knows what creature lies within these waters, these mysterious waters of the sea?”

“Oh but I know…” she said…but she said nothing more. He was too entranced by her beauty to notice.

An old Indian man with a turban looking like he had just stepped out of the Arabian Nights suddenly appeared next to them and asked them if they wanted to go parachuting. Prince Charming politely declined and continued walking. However, the Old Man was persistent. Prince Charming couldn’t say no. Nay, he was too soft hearted. But he was getting irritated, and as his temper rose the Old Man’s face began to change. Then the Old Man transformed into a horrible, fire breathing monster.

The Lady who was walking behind in her own reverie, looked up and her heart was moved. She could not stand such injustice, and immediately also, she transformed. Prince Charming had never seen such a thing in his life, so he promptly forgot this happened. And the fire breathing monster disappeared into ash, having faced justice, burned itself up.

She had saved his life. Prince Charming, if he had not fallen before, was now head over heels in love.

“Shall we meet tomorrow,” our prince asked. “I will bring you to eat the best Pau on Penang Island. And not only that. I will bring CAMRY (A beautiful black horse).”

“Yes we shall,” said the Lady.

he is very excited when she said yes...(reproduction of scene)

Dancing all the way back to KELISA (his pet mule) Prince slept early that night, so that he could wake up early, and his dreams were sweet.

But Prince did not wake up. Our Lady was forced to take a donkey to Penang Hill by herself, and went up the hill by herself, and watch the sunrise alone. It was so beautiful and she was sad because the view was just too enchanting and she wanted to share it with…with someone!

But when she returned to the foot of the hill, he came! And he came with CAMRY…how could she refuse to ride CAMRY??? He made it up to her. He brought her to Kek Lok Si Temple to see some of the beautiful statues and buildings there. She was awed, but the sun was very hot and she kept running from shadow to shadow. Puteri lilin indeed. This proved her royal blood to him.

wishing pond (reproduction of scene)

He secretly made his way to a wishing pool up the temple to make a wish. He threw a coin into it, and he wished…he wished that his happiness would never end…

They walked a long way and admired the whole of Kek Lok Si despite her ‘Puteri Lilin-ness’ because he was too lazy to move his CAMRY. She was getting very hungry because she hadn’t eaten breakfast! So after Kek Lok Si, he brought her to eat…LAKSA!! Oh noo….this was a bad move. The laksa was very sour, and it was not filling at all!! Oh why would our prince do that?

“I promised you I would take you to eat the best Pau in Penang, didn’t I?” he said gently to her as they climbed onto CAMRY. “I asked Milo Tin to buy Pau for you! We can eat it at my Palace in Balik Pulau…”

breathtaking scenery

But before he could buy the Pau, he stopped at Jimmy Tailor to collect his handsom-est coat. He had to look handsome in his Palace to her. They rode CAMRY through winding roads, and he brought her to the paddy fields! She was so excited, she had never seen paddy fields before!!

paddy fields!

And then he brought her to his favourite place somewhere up the hill, and the scenery there was breathtaking…she was awed, but she nearly fell down the mountain because she wanted to eat durian but he hates durian…and he didn’t want to mess up CAMRY.

where she nearly fell down...

After all the excitement, he bought the Paus…and then they made their way to his ‘very big’ palace! Before they had gone, SeKeTeng had told her that Prince’s palace was ‘VERY VERY BIG’ and she was excited to see it!

very cute servant: hairy

However, when she reached, she discovered that it wasn’t really very big…it was only as big as her toilet! But the Pau was very good…and he had a very cute servant called Hairy. The Lady loved the brown sugar Pau the most!!!*

(*if you had been wondering why he had brought her to eat laksa earlier, it was because he knew it was not filling and so later he could bring her to his palace.)

Yummy pau

While he was preparing the candlelit Pau lunch, she started nosing around the house. She saw his family, and he had a very pretty sister!! And oh…his elder brother is even handsomer than him!! After that the Pau lunch and the wine…she had a very good sleep in front of the TV on the sofa. He was very kind and did not wake her up. Kek Lok Si was very tiring.

25 cents satay

Around 4pm, they went to have 25 cents satay. He was very worried that it wasn’t open, but it was, and it was quite cheap and good! She ate 60 cucuk!! Very good satay.

very good satay

“We shall meet tomorrow again, won’t we?” Prince asked.

“You must wake up early,” she said.

They went out again, and they had a wonderful time! They went to the dam, and the scenery was beautiful! They went to a very bad food centre at Gurney Drive, where the girl at the Apom store was very pretty (Seketeng and Prince both agreed). And then they also visited a wonderful Indian restaurant where they had food on Banana Leaves, and the lady was attracted to a handsome Indian Waiter there with a moustache! Prince was so jealous, so he kept on asking for more Popadoms (because it was free-flow) and more and more until the restaurant manager sent him the bill to chase him away. The lady was very angry and she stole CAMRY’s reins and he was very worried...

banana leaf

Said she: “if CAMRY comes to life when we go to him later, we are destined to be together forever!”

And then he said: “Give me back his reins lah!! I am very worried.”

They reached CAMRY, and he came to life! Prince Charming felt a lot better. But she said: “Hurry up and go…this place very dark very dangerous. Fai di fai di…”

They spent a wonderful two years together, with a lot of wonderful adventures. Then suddenly one night she said: “I have to go back to my world. I forgot to tell you, I am actually a Lady of The Waters (romantic way of saying mermaid) and I am going back to the sea to be married! Bye bye Prince Charming! I had a lovely time with you…but I really have to go!”

The Prince no longer believed in long distance relationships. It just couldn’t work out.

oh princess, princess, where are you? I miss you so much...
(reproduction of scene)

Prince was heartbroken. From that day onwards, he became very strange. He started dancing and posing everywhere he went. He walked very funny. Then he liked to grow his hair long long because it reminded him of her. And then when he drives CAMRY or KELISA and he hears music he will dance. It scared us investigators a lot.

Prince is still very sad about it, and very heartbroken. This is our gift to him because we can sense his sadness and want him to be happy. We hope he can forget this princess and find another one, maybe on another island somewhere and live happily ever after, just like what happens to most prince charmings.

We have finished our mission. The ice cream is eaten. We hope you have enjoyed our story.

-written by the powerpuff girls+1!!!
at IceIceBaby

at kek lok si temple

trip up Penang Hill

batu feringgi

guess who?

shereen, moi, wenqiao, thierry and wei jian (seketeng)
gurney drive

a bit more updating...

hmm, so updating because mummy has banned me from painting the whole house (she hates the smell of paint, and i guess cleaning oil-based paint off my hair isn't one of her hobbies). Luckily tmr I AM GOING TO BAKE GIDDY'S CAKE or I will die of boredom.

last night I brought lloyd and si jia to the connaught night market! They bought an awful lot of stuff, and I was there mainly to help in the bargaining. haha. then it was so late later that mummy freaked out and didn't let me send them back to their hotel but made daddy fetch instead, which is good, because i have no idea where their hotel is, except that it is next to dad's office. so it was great cos dad brought us around the city to look at buildings that could be of architectural interest to us (and the national mosque actually looks fabulous after midnight) and etc etc. nice. so they are off to kota bahru and penang later.

ooh ya and yiptheyay me moi i am off to penang on monday! ~weee

daddy read more of the Magician's Nephew tonight, and then something else hit me!! Hahaha. i tend to blog about dinner sessions alot everytime i'm back, don't i...yah, so this part sounds just lovely:

Both the children were looking up into the Lion's face as he spoke these words. And all at once (they never knew exactly how it happened) the face seemed to be a sea of tossing gold in which they were floating, and such a sweetness and power rolled about them and over them and entered them that they felt they had never really been happy or wise or good, or even alive and awake, before. And the memory of that moment stayed with them always, so that as long as they both lived, if ever they were sad or afraid or angry, the thought of all that golden goodness, and the feeling that it was still there, quite close, just round some corner or just behind some door, would come back and make them sure, deep down inside, that all was well.

cos that's exactly how it is, isn't it? you always feel safe, no matter what, because there's Him, and He's always there.

UPDATE-O

well, nothing much to blog about, but just to announce i'm still alive...

home is perfectly wonderful, as usual. i just painted the dining room today, and i'm planning to do the whole house! hahaha. don't ask me why i got into the diy thingthing...i just felt like it. i do weird things sometimes. the dining room looks so nicenice! but it smells kind of bad, so we're having dinner in the living room in the meantime. i so know how to move my family yeahh...

home-cooked food is the bestest!! haha. giddy's birthday is coming soon (16th)...and i'm going to bake a cake! ~wee!! i hope i will get my camera soon. @@ it's not nice not having a camera (argh, blogging is difficult without photographs (cos they take up alot of space, and it looks like i blogged alot even when i didn't). Dad is trying to persuade me to get a high end point and shoot rather than a dslr (i think the price took him aback.) but anyway. i may get a high end point and shoot i dunno. somehow the weight of a dslr bugs me. but i'm not sure. this is troublesome.

planning to go to penang next week, but thierry wants to go back to singapore on the 22nd. WHY. i have a date with bobo and the pizzahut gang on saturday, so the earliest i can go will be on sunday. argh. i'll just go there we don't need thierry do we? hahaha. hmm, must get hold of a camera before i go...

so many things on my to-do list!! haha. so fun. now i go do somemore fun things.

ehhh, yeah, i have something to blog about. chim things. cos daddy has been reading narnia at the dinner table again (we go through the narnia series over and over again. weird but then that's dad). i rather liked the time we finished 'the lost princess' by george macdonald because it was something different...but i love the narnia series. it may be kind of childish but everytime i read it i find something new to learn.

the part he read about was the part where diggory had taken the apple and grown it in narnia. oh help it's so long and i don't think i can explain everything. Read 'The Magician's Nephew', the first book of the Chronicles of Narnia and then you'll know.

alright, so what i realised here was that there are things you are meant to have, but if you go about the wrong way to get it, you will be miserable forever.

my sis is forever worrying about how her application results will be like. i guess i did too back then. but now i realize that God really kind of pushed me into the right place. i'm glad i'm doing architecture at nus. i pray God will push my sis into where she's supposed to be too! hahaha. God is really good. He always guides me in everything i do! even though i can't see it at the time...

okay, enough crapping nonsense. see...when i have nothing to blog about but have to blog then i come up with all the whirling things going on in my head that have no head or tail and are pretty incoherent. hahaha.

oh yeahohyeah my parents LOVE the parker pens i got them..heheee...thanks sila for the suggestion!! Happy mother's day mummy!!

running the race

image via track

1 Corinthians 9

24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

vaguely related:

i should graduate from track and start running uphill @@ track is to flat. but i HATE running uphill.

I HATE PACKING. PACKING SUCKS.
i wish i never had to pack everything i own into boxes everytime the hols start. argh. i wish i wasn't an archi student. i have so much rubbish, and i don't know what to throw and what not to throw. i have dismantled alot of my models and i don't feel anything. hahahahHAHAHAHAHA (i am going mad)

liberation+homesickness

addicted

liberated. had fun with the gang today at pgp. wish we could go out but eejia and trolley duty get along too well, haha.

lol. feeling a strange sense of discontentment, somehow. maybe it was dinner which we had 'dish' style today. reminded me of home. of the kitchen. of cooking (yay!) of baking with all the things you need at hand. of larger spaces, more private nooks and corners. of comfort and people you love. of anything you like to do, of less loneliness and individuality. of people who care no matter what you do. of people who care until you want them to stop. of less self and more us. of corners and books, comfy sofas you can curl in. air-conditioned rooms you never need. of wide open spaces, yeah, comfort. that's all i can say.

will be home soon. for a blessed three weeks.

can't figure why, but i can't keep my eyes off of you

This is sweet hahaha. thanks guys. your waste disposal system loves you loads.

Tirza the Waste Disposal System

You are Tirza, the waste disposal system! Wait! Don't connote it with something dirty. We all appreciate your effort in bringing away all the bad things around us. You are an indecisive person, easily being influenced by people's emotion or preference, or input. Like waste, your composition and personality (output) depend largely on the input. Whatever people 'spoon-feed', you will turn out as what it is. However, deep in yourself, you might insist on something but people barely notice it. However, you tend to get choked easily when you are overly loaded. You might need some help from the plumbers, aka your gang of friends, to clear the mess out. You always get chocked in the midst of approaching your destination, for instance when you are half way crossing the 'bridge a.k.a "J"ambatan to reach your "D"estination, you fall in love with the bridge and you stop there with hesitation and uncertainties. You more likely will end up in a landfill rather than an incinerator because you are always mysterious as if buried in the landfill, it is very hard to predict your next move or decision because the composition of the landfill is just too random. People always think that they have solved your problem through landfill, but hidden beneath you, there are still a lot of problem remain unsolved. You like to express yourself through blog writing, regardless of whether it is interesting or boring, good or bad, like a waste system, everything will just appear in your blog. You struggle a lot in your design , always get chocked again in the process so you really appreciate your tutor who is the plumber who is determined and passionate to clear the choke. In return, you are touched and always unintentionally "spray water" on the plumber with your tears. Be decisive and firm with your own stance! you can't be on the bridge and at the destination at the same time! unless the bridge is your destination :)

EeJia the Electrical Distribution System

You are constantly in high-voltage, highly dangerous and randomly release electricity to potential victims, read: matured and handsome MARRIED men like TS. Obviously, your transformer needs some servicing as the voltage has over-shot your limits. Even you yourself get shocked sometimes. And hey, it's not good to stand in your way as your enemy will get electrocuted. Like the AC circuit within the electricity cable, your mood tends to swing and fluctuate all the time. Your emotion is pretty much governed by the TS switch. You get easily "switched on" and "off" by words of his. You travel a long way to reach your destination, like how you come out with your final design scheme. You pass through alot of hiccups on the way, like the substations and transformers. But when you reach the final point, we know the journey was worth it. How thankful we are when you arrive!

Lai Mei the Fire Safety System
You are like a fire sprinkler system, quick to respond loudly whenever there is an emergency. Like the wet riser, you are constantly in high-pressure, ready to explode when you sense the flame coming your way. VERY RESPONSIVE indeed! Fierce and strongly opinionated, you may even like the fire you are supposed to contain. You are very sensitive to tutor's flame. When there is a whiff of smoke, your alarm systems will set off immediately. You are also strangely sensitive to other things, such as emotional songs and korean dramas. Those can set you off too. You are also the PA System attached to the Fire Safety System. You constantly seek for inspector's check, but always certain you are working fine.In a way , you tend to be quite stubborn with your own way of doing thing. You could be a very loud and expressive person . And, good job, your voice can be heard even people are in miles away. That proves how effective you are in evacuating people! You made people the SIAMMERs. On a bright note, deep inside our heart we all appreciate your contribution to us. Sometimes we wish you were there, especially when we are wilting. Your sense of humour really "mou tak teng"! Communication with you is easy as you are very direct.

Qian Lyn the ACMV System
You are Qian Lyn, the ACMV system. Your smile is a breath of cool, refreshing air. No matter what the weather, you are always ready to bring comfort to the people around you. You're very popular in certain ways, BUT! superficially, you are like the air-conditioning, cool and comfortable, but somewhere, you've these hot air exhausts which create noises and heat to the environment, which is no good, because you often cause envy, anxieties, heated competition within the male population in your hall. Pretty, gentle and soft spoken, you are always smiling no matter what the situation. You should have a lovely fair complexion that is the envy of everyone. You are also always happy go lucky. You may complain but in a very nice way and ALWAYS with a smile at the end. Your cheery personality is reflected in design studio too! Even when struggling with design, you are always positive that it will be alright in the end. Sometimes you will be worried about your design , but you will not let that to affect your daily mood . You can be considered as an optismistic person , who tends to brighten people's life up. Although you are gentle, you are sometimes good shooter as well. You will sometimes say some words to tease people just like occasionally the ACMV have some water leakage. People might not notice that you're actually 'stabbing' them until 'the water leaks out and floods your foot.

Thierry the Water Distribution System
You are Thierry, the Water Distribution System. You are flexible like water and can blend seamlessly into different communities. You are always on the go. when coming from PUB you are the clean water but after flushing through the bath tub you become grey water, or black water after mixing with sewage. Your transparency is reflected in your dressing just like how you love wearing FBT shorts and army singlets, exposing the insightful part of your body. You admire NS-men because they are 'fit' and 'big' although they might not suit you ! You probably still need to work out more for that, especially sit-ups. :) Also, you are adaptable and fit like water into any container you are in. You are most probably the most successful Malaysian students who can truly blend into the local community. Perhaps this is what confuses you between your imagined identities, but the sure thing is that you're happy that you're moving away from being 'malaysian' quote "eh! I realized that my mandarin sounds more and more like Singaporean liao, yours still sound like malaysian" The good thing about you is that you're always positive and confident about your design, like water, your design is always focussed on organic and curvaceous forms, free-flowing and dynamic (like the way you pose and dance). Also, you are very easy to bully, and although you say alot of nonsense we all know deep down inside that you're a nice, sweet, innocent guy (need to help you out leh, hey girls, interested or not). And sometimes even your weird dancing can bring smiles to our faces (although the smiles are mainly accompanied with eye rolling). You are always ready with a positive word if we are down, and your self confidence is admirable. Yeah, we really need you. Don't change, but do cut your hair.

Clarence the IT & Communication System
You are Clarence the IT and Communication System. You resemble the infamous Malaysian Broadband Service Streamyx in Malaysia. Sometimes you can be very, very fast, other times you cannot even connect, or slow until everyone feels very frustrated. You are discrete, but you know a lot of things about people. You are the ultimate stalker and are the ultimate underfloor IT system, hidden yet connected to every single computer (community, gang etc) without other's knowledge. Your secret identity is 'c'. You have a lot more secret identities. In order to connect with you, people must know how to use your coding systems. Because you tend to use short forms or characters in mentioning people's name.And, you seem to be interested in using the local slangs ( chop chop, chui), and always repeat them again and again. You have to watch more blue film because your design is too rigid and conservative. Please lah, what sort of porn are you watching? Those with striped pajamas? Get some wild ones. Hey ,but ..but ..but you know, you are actually quite determined and knowledgable person. You will set your goals and always strategize the ways to achieve it. Just like the It system , You store everything ( necessary or unnecessary ) in your database , readily to be retrieved . It shows your unselfishness in sharing with others.If anyone wants to get information like where to eat , where to go , what is the best current movie , the history of whatever best stall , asking you is the best liao la!

Chu Hwai the Transport System
You are Chu Hwai, the Transport System. Like the escalator and express elevator within a building, bringing people to different floors quickly and efficiently. You do things fast, act fast, eat fast and like to be FAST. However you are sometimes too systematic and disciplined, much like how the elevator confines itself to only fixed number of floors. You should get out of the elevator shaft my dear!AS in, It seems like you will tend to plan everything before doing something, making a nice schedule or timetable for your daily life... and" die die" must follow them or you will get upset if there are some minor changes. You like to announce things like all your little small personal things to everyone by always repeating them or showing them in your facebook or blog, seeking for attention . Just like the elevator which will have a system to acknowledge people on every floor where it will go and which level it will stop at. you are kind of like easily to get bored, seeking for trying new things to achieve different levels. Hard to be static unless the power is shut off. When you are about to travel fast to very high level, you will get excited enjoying the process, but people who go along with you could feel the" pressure" that you created. especially to their ears.~ ! Although everyone else is stopping at various floors, you end up at the top level without stopping and faster than everyone else.

And together we make up a complete, integrated system in a building! Lets all say 'awwww' to that. :) It's great having a bunch of friends away from home. And I guess one reason why we always stick together is that we tend to understand each other and what we feel as foreign students in a foreign land, with parents and family far away. We share the same languages too, and when we lapse into Malay you must understand that we are trying in some sad way to salvage our identities. (We may also be trying to hide something from you, but that is another matter.) Love you all. Muahmuah.sobs.

Singaporean Food

image via hungrygowhere

singaporean food ain't bad after all!! woohoo, for the first time in my two years here, i tasted dimsum comparable to what is found in KL, and perhaps even better! which is saying something @@ most of the time sg food sucks.

it's a little secluded place in sunshine plaza (where archi students print stuff). man, the dimsum is really good. its called victor's kitchen. getting famous already, as can be seen from the newspaper coverage it got. (in singapore, if food is good, newspapermen crawl it, probably because these stuff are few and far between, and singapore is a dot) hahaha

yeah, and the hero of the day is jonlin, one of our aki seniors whom i elf-ed for (elves are junior aki students who do saikang (model making, photoshopping, cadding etc) for the seniors, and learn stuff in the process). went to marina square with him and thierry this afternoon (despite exams on tuesday haha, ohman i am so not going to be prepared for akicon). THANKS JONLIN!! BEST-EST SANTA! he treated too!!! thankyew very muchie!! you're going to have some ready elves for your masters project haha.

ok. i'm going to go back to akicon. you can read thierry's blog for less detail. xp

aahhh, i am very stressed. very stressed, very stressed. plus i think i overdosed on honeystars. not good.

wanderlust

image via alonsodiaz.

wishing to go on a trip. somewhere.

been addicted to this since morning

i am also stressing and emo-ing

yah, group study ROCKS :)

just feeling so discontented again. is it me? feelings of inadequacy...i keep wondering and wondering what my life holds for me. i don't know. i just feel so lost. a little lost sheep wandered far out of the fold, it's night and although she was chasing the stars she fell into the chasms. deep, that's where i stand, somewhere in the bowels of the earth. moon is bright and unreachable, the only thing familiar in the gloom.

highlighted after a youth service message a long time ago:
Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

a lamp will guide me as i step upon the path. a guide for just that little bit of space in front of me. a light for my path, or my mission, my reason to be here on earth.

still seeking this mission. seeking, and still not finding. but the lamp at least has shown that the path is right, but where it ends i do not know.