boing boing: i can never run from akicon

went out with daddy and sis today, to the singapore science centre.

dad was so sien we watched two imax movies at the omnitheater one after another and then spent the rest of the afternoon running around the science gallery. it's actually quite an interesting place. but i somehow feel randy won't be very happy with it. xp he probably wants me to spend my holidays visiting art galleries and museums and artsy things. whatever lah. hahaha. i will make it up. maybe dad wants to visit the museums also.

the first movie was called sea monsters, but i didn't like it that much. boring. i was merely impressed at the way the archeologists worked and how they could tell a story from a set of bones. fascinating.

the second movie was good. it was about climbing the eiger at the alps. man, one of those things i want to do (but will probably never do) is climb one of these gigantic snow covered monoliths. or climb a mountain, whatever.

the discipline required awes me.

will you believe it i can't run from deplazes even when out.

images via ecofriend

YUMYUM
further links.

an autonomous alpine shelter, the monte rosa hut, switzerland.

designed by andrea deplazes and marcel baumgartner.

there was an alpine exhibition just outside the omnitheatre, and i was walking around when this gorgeous floor plan caught my eye. i was admiring the details when suddenly it dawned on me that the guy in the pic just next to the floorplan was the author of my latest 500 page textbook.

oh man, another pandemic?

Could It Be Any Harder

Back to my usual style of naming my blogposts after a song I'm listening to. At the moment it's Could It Be Any Harder by The Calling. I'm into alternative rock, but I can't deny I love classical as well. I realize perhaps my public personality is quite different from who I really am. My blog doesn't completely reflect who I am. It's a more superficial version of me. A reflection of my hates and wants and delights 'at the time'. Maybe if you read every post you may get a glimpse of me...but I think it's highly unlikely. Never mind, I guess I like it this way. :)

The weather is lovely now, after the horrible heat of the past few days. In fact, right now I must say I love the weather. It's nearly the way I like it. Only it's day. I love it when it rains at night. The imagination can run wild, and somewhere else is nearer then. Daytime holds less mystery.

Suddenly overwhelmed again by wanderlust. Many things are keeping me from it, responsibilities, family obligations. One day I will travel.

AT THE MOMENT I WANT TO GO HOME!!!! @@

Sometimes I say I want to do things. I want to get out of my comfort zone, do things I would never dream of doing. Take risks. etc etc. But I don't. I am a coward. I don't dare to do it, I only speak of it. How can I do this? All words and no action. Big bag of words I am.

I need to do things I'm afraid of doing. Arrgh, and somehow I know I will never do them because I am so cowardly.

I am feeling SO dissatisfied. There must be more to life than sitting here mugging!!! Mug mug mug. How much goes in I have no idea.

I think I'll go for a jog and wear out my dissatisfaction.

so long as there is a white sail and wind, i can go anywhere i want to go...

i am feeling ridiculously happy now because dad is in town and i'm going out with him and sis tmr morning!

Crazy Crapping At Megabytes

Today was submission for our cds at the office, so as usual we all somehow ended having lunch together. We went to megabytes. I got myself a vege pizza, and I was the first to order and the last to receive. Bugger. I won't order pizza there again.

Anyways. I cannot believe the conversation we had. It was completely nuts. Crazy. We were in stitches most of the time, mainly due to LM. My goodness, it is good to laugh again.

If anyone reads the nonsense in the cbox, it is mainly due to extreme boredom and has no basis on fact. Thank you very much.



This is fantastic cool.

Baptism

As I listened to the message today, I realized that perhaps my view of baptism has been a little shallow.

I'm now baptized, but I don't feel very different :) But I guess we all don't get baptized and immediately become saints, do we?

Today: 26/4/2009

My new birthday! I've been born again. This is a mere symbol. What is important will be the changes occurring within. May my walk with God be even richer from now on, even as I announce to the world my commitment to Him.

I feel strangely more refreshed today than in the past few days....maybe because after the baptism at ecp (pics with simon!) I knocked out and slept for 3 hours. I had a lot of weird dreams of designing houses during this sleep, which is well, plain weird @@

Anyways, I have just had dinner and am going to knock off again. The weather is SO BAD.

Hmm, I've been thinking. If I don't marry at all I think I will not mind. Having someone (a guy) does not seem to me particularly important, for some reason. The only thing I will be very sad about is not having kids. I mean, I have God already, and He provides all my needs. I am perfectly happy to be single if God wants me to be, and perfectly happy to marry if God wants me to.

LOL, if you are wondering why I came up with this random topic, it's cos of the facebook quiz when will you marry (facebook quizzes have been filling up my boredom in the past week hahaha) which predicted I will be married in my early twenties (of course it also predicted I will have no soulmate, and alot of people are supposed to have passed away before they were born) and Lai Mei came up with the idea of me marrying today. Which is also the day I get baptised.

I suppose baptism is a sort of marriage. A symbol of a commitment.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Music to the Soul

The weather is so HOT!! So dreadfully hot I cannot even sleep. I am going to take another bath. There are some guys fighting downstairs. Can they please don't shout? Guys like that are not good. I can't believe this is happening in RH.

I feel so depressed. I'm wilting. Can they just STOP shouting? I hate it when people shout. It scares me. Especially when guys shout. When a guy is angry and cannot control himself it's extremely scary. I actually thought they may start punching each other. Scary.

I have just bathed (in cold water) and have been comfortable for a whole of 1 minute. Now it's getting uncomfortable again. I'm trying not to move or I will sweat.

I love music. It is so calming. I actually cool down when I listen to music...aahhhh.

Going to be baptized tomorrow. Meant to be baptized a couple of years ago, but circumstances did not allow. I do not believe that the act of baptism by water is necessary for salvation, but rather, baptism is an act of obedience and identification with Jesus as the Christ. I believe that it is merely an outward expression (is this the right word?) of God's work and hand in my life, which is usually invisible to man but visible to God. I hope this is in line with my current church's beliefs. :) Anyway, it will be very important to me, a 'physically visible' milestone in my walk with God.

I have known for very long that Christ will always be my one and only Savior. I will not stray from this faith. So I think it should be alright for me to be baptized.

I am glad to be God's child. I see His hand in my life, and I am so glad. I am glad that my parents dedicated me to Him when I was a child, being a firstborn. I know I have a work to do here on earth, and I hope to do it with all the abilities I have, and with all the talents he has given me. I am glad to be here in Singapore right now, because I know that God meant me to be here, and I am glad for the faith he gave me to come here and not take an easier route.

Life on earth may not turn out the way I want it to, but I know it will turn out the way God wants it to, if only I trust in Him every time I face an obstacle in my life. Decision making will not be based on short term gains, but on prayer and on the everlasting life promised.

Like what is written on the campus blog:

He is no fool to give up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot

And my other favorite:

If we discover a desire within us that nothing on earth can satisfy, we should begin to wonder that perhaps we were created for another world. -CS Lewis.

There is a life after death, and the treasures there do not rot and are not stolen. Let my treasures be there and not on earth. There is where God is, and where God is is perfect.

Matthew 6. I love Matthew.

Well, I thank God for insomnia. Perhaps I have not been taking my baptism seriously enough, and now I have time to think it through. Thank You, God.

Some time ago when I was rushing for submissions, I was also rushing through my quiet time, but something about fasting struck me. I felt that fasting and prayer was going to be a new thing in my life.

I never thought much about fasting before, it was more a kind of novelty, of missing a meal. But now I realize there is more to it. Fasting and praying will play a part in my life from now on. It is a discipline. God speaks to those who listen, and I want to have my ears wide open from now on. And I think intense course of personal Bible Study will play a very big part in the coming three month holiday :)

Goodnight everyone. Thank You, God.

Drats I Have Nothing To Do Again

I have just returned from helping a masters senior finish his models. Argh. Now that their submissions are over I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO AGAIN.

Unless you count the 500page book (Constructing Architecture: Materials Processes Structure second edition) sitting next to me, and my Systems exam...maybe I should go home.

My stomach is growling too. This is going to be another wu liao post.

But it won't be long like the previous one. I think I am going to sleep because my dark circles are getting bad. Last night I stayed up till 3am doing trees for the senior's model. They are very nice trees :) Well, I guess I do learn things from seniors, and I have nothing to do anyway...and if I help seniors now if I have problems in the future I can always go find them to ask things...so this is good...but why am I helping a masters senior? They won't be in school anymore.

Maybe in the future I will get plenty of nice elves to help me when I am rushing for my masters submission because I helped this senior this time around...firm believer that what goes around comes around (or whatever the quotation is (my English is sucking, I think I need to read more books...))

Okay, I am going to sleep to get rid of my dark circles, and hopefully tomorrow I won't die of boredom and you will never see me again.

I get high when I see gorgeous anime graphics @@

Just Another Tuesday :)

Morning was fun :) Went with sis to the ICA to get her passport done and we barely waited cos we went so early! Hunger then led us to City Hall for breakfast (we let about 5 trains go to avoid becoming a sardine at Lavender) consisting of bread, kaya, butter(!) and cold milo (hot milo didn't seem appealing for once) and then to the shops, which were mostly closed at the time.

MPH was open though, and so as usual us two bookworms went in to see if anything interesting was there (I miss reading!! But I don't seem to have the time to nowadays...) but it was a fairly small bookstore so there wasn't really anything. I saw a lovely pink Bible there, and figured I may get it for someone who really likes pink :) Haha...it will be a going away present for someone special.

We then hit the shops when they started to open, but none of us are crazy about shopping, so we spent an hour looking for the cinema (both of us have no sense of direction...I have it a bit better than my sis, because she will never get to the destination, whereas I will find the longest way there, which isn't good either...) and we decided to watch Taken, some movie about a daughter who got kidnapped and how her father went out to get her back.

Had lunch at some fast food Jap restaurant. Okay. Will stop narrating. :) Taken was a seriously disturbing movie. Makes me think twice about going backpacking alone or even with one or two friends. Arrghhh, seriously disturbing, and did the dad have to kill so many people to find his daughter? The first death was disturbing, and most of those following were disturbing too. So disturbing. @@ I think I will stick to comedies and fantasy movies (even some of these are disturbing @@ I should stick to fantasy movies for kids) from now on.

After that, we went our separate ways and I got back and slept till six. Hahaha. Most certainly NOT another Tuesday. Feel quite happy, but a little lost because I'm so used to having things to do, and now I'm quite free...I'm even feeling quite lonely because I'm so used to working at studio with half my studio mates around me, and our CAD assignment was seriously fun as we did it all together in Clarence's room and all the crapping was really fun hahaa.

I always put myself into situations when I'm bored. I find something interesting to do and bring it a bit far, and then I wonder what I have put myself into...Oh no. I better find something to do quick or my life will start complicating itself! Or maybe I want it to complicate itself!! SOOO BORED NOW!!!

Yesterday night I met dad and sis at NUH for dinner! It was then I realized how much I missed family. I really do not enjoy living alone here in Singapore (friends can make up for it, but family is really irreplaceable!). Mom was so kind she sent down vitamins for me by express post that week I blew and the postage was more expensive than the package itself. LOL. touched, so touched. I miss everyone at home. Miss the camaraderie. Miss the mess, miss my crazy monkey brothers. Miss HOME. Arrghhh. Even miss the fact that dad can be so long winded sometimes. He'll repeat the same thing over again until I acknowledge that i have heard it before moving on...I get irritated, but I was so happy because it was dad.

Too bad studio was closed. Wanted to show them my studio and where I worked and all my stuff. Sigh. Showed them the workshop, and Scalebar...dad wasn't impressed lol. Oh well. Oh yeah I helped a senior do a model for the first time yesterday! Senior models are cool. Really interesting work. I want to do that when I'm in fourth year, but I have to get past RIBA first. So complexly simple...so interesting! I'm glad I'm in Archi!

Okay. Now that I've finished blogging, what should I do? (I guess you have figured out why I am writing this completely pointless post now) (but perhaps you never got here, so you wouldn't be reading this...) Maybe I'll go check if Kiina has been updated. I want to see my Yuta again!! NOOOOOoooOOOOOooooooo Kiina has not been updated!! And I watched the last episode of Boys Before Flowers by accident so I know the ending and it's so long I think I will be bored! What shall I watch?? What shall I DO???

I am going to blog!! I AM GOING TO BLOG UNTIL THIS IS SO LONG AND IT WILL FILL UP ALL THE SPACE THAT ALL MY OTHER POSTS USED TO TAKE UP). perhaps I will find out if there is a word limit for blog posts. I don't want to study. I refuse to study. I don't know what to watch, and I am too lazy to go through each drama and see if it is worth watching. And anyway I just want to see Yuta. My exam is on the 2nd of May and the 5th...if I study anything today I will forget it anyway so what's the point? Arrrgh, WHAT SHALL I DO?????

I have a feeling a lot of people will kill me just for writing this lol. Yeah, so what? I have very few exams...cos I was suffering the whole semester. Sorry if I sound so antagonistic. I am feeling very frustrated. I am very bored. I want to go and do something exciting. I want to live life!! I am restless!! Aaaaah!!!!

!!!!!!!

Exclamation marks are extremely satisfying.

I want to fill my days up with things to do. Fill it up, fill it up...Oooh, maybe I should read something. I want to read something, but I am so out of touch with the world of storybooks that I don't even know what I want to read. Why can't my life be more moderate? Why extreme busy-ness contrasted with extreme nothing-ness?

HELPPPPPP I AM BORED. I am so bored I think I will take out my systems notes and start reading. I think I will read Frank Ching. Maybe I will finally finish The Eyes of the Skin. (And perhaps understand it).

Okay. Bubyes. If I get bored I will be back.

Post Submission

Submission is over finally and I have time to breathe. But I have a CAD assignment due on Monday so I'm not entirely free either :(

Well, it's been a tough semester, but I'm still alive. We have been stretched very thin this sem, even our tutors have sent in a formal complaint to the office regarding our workload. Which is serious. We went days without sleep (and there was no choice about this) to finish our ongoing projects which were all concurrent. Tempers were short, faces wan, dark circles rampant, and all of us got sick. Alot of us cried during and after crit (I cried loads, when awake, when asleep (because I wasn't supposed to be sleeping) when half awake...) (I shan't say if I cried during crit...I WON'T!!!) (You can just make assumptions)

Well, Randy said that our batch is stronger than our senior years which is why they aren't afraid of experimenting on us (but I think I am pretty weak haha). It's good to be a strong batch, I suppose. You get influenced by the strong people around you, so you have to be a bit strong even when you're weak like me.

Well, I want to sleep, but seems I have some float stuff to do. I want to SLEEP. I HAVE TO DO MY CAD ASSIGNMENT. AAAAAH.

Drats, I can't seem to start on the assignment...Arrrrr...

I get high when I see gorgeous architecture. Whoooaaaa



Only Hope (Mandy Moore)

There's a song that's inside of my soul
Its the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I will wake in the end when it calls
But You sing to me over and over and over again

Chorus:
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope

I give You my destiny
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I'm giving You all

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours i pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope

This webbie is fascinating.

(梁靜茹) - 崇拜

你的姿態 你的青睞 我存在在你的存在
你以為愛 就是被愛 你揮霍了我的崇拜
我活了 我愛了 我都不管了
心愛到瘋了 恨到酸了就好了
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
幸福好不容易 怎麼你卻不敢了呢？
我還以為我們能 不同於別人
我還以為不可能的 不會不可能

風箏有風 海豚有海
我存在在我的存在
所以明白 所以離開
所以不再為愛而愛

自己存在 在你之外

Beautiful song, beautiful music, fantastic building. (but kind of sad, isn't it? The song)

Tadao Ando - Church on the Water

Finally I have some sort of form out for design, and just have to post rationalize (Randy has assured me post rationalizing is possible hahah). It must be my parent's prayers (because I have been writing them escalatingly alarming emails regarding my project as final submission draws nearer...) sorry mom and dad, I have a tendency for melodrama. But I think I was really in an extremely agitated state of mind when I wrote them. Sila and Jillene can probably attest to my weird mutterings and hair pulling in recent days.

I am tired and my eyes and back hurt. It is only 12.26am Saturday. Help me.

I Bow My Knee

I bow my knee before Your throne
I know my life is not my own
I offer up this song of praise
To bring You pleasure Lord

I seek the Giver not the gift
My heart's desire is to lift Him
High above all earthly kings
To bring You pleasure Lord

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Glory to the King

'Slow swelled and burst like sudden song into the sun's delight...'
laurence binyon_auguries

Wandered off again, somewhere else. Some quiet place of my own. Maybe in a mossy wood upon the roots of a giant tree. Edelweiss at my feet, delicate, innocent...trampled? Nay!

Maybe somewhere in the loneliness of the Scotland in my mind, perhaps, probably, unreal.

Cannot help but laugh at the latest email sent by TBK (high importance): tips on manging exam stress, counselling helpline, etc. (Spellings were wrong, perhaps they are under stress too?) Pulled away from my happy reverie to another realm of happiness.

And back...

To my empty plains. :( Somebody save me.

I am getting a camera

I am getting a dslr soon. Any recommendations? I am wondering if it's worth it to go mid-end (think Canon 450D or Nikon D90) so fast. I was considering the Nikon D40 because it is CHEAP and LIGHT.

But I wonder if I should just get a better one first.

pic via natsumishizumi

Little bird outside the birdcage-free but not free? I want to fly, but where to?

Grace

I was really tired today, and so stuck for design I wanted to cry everywhere I went. I went to artfriend this afternoon, was planning to get my stuff and go, but I ended up at popular browsing through books on graphic design! Haha. Why didn't I go into grpahic design? I love graphic design books, they just make my day.

I can stare at all the lovely designs people have come up with, and stare and stare and wonder how I can do it on my own. Exciting sia! But I bet graphic designers have their blocked days as well.

Haha, and I am pleased with myself because despite being darn tired I stood up and asked and old man to sit on the bus!! He said it was okay though, so I sunk back into my seat. Man, it isn't easy to do it, cos I was not just tired, I was a bit afraid to speak up and say: "Ahkong, zuo ba!" But I did!! So I am very pleased with myself. Haha. Just a little thing that perked up my otherwise weird day.

I say weird day because I'm not quite sure how I spent it. Everything is just in a whirl. Hazy whirl. When I am in this condition I can sleep in the bus and overshoot my busstop by 13 stops. Ha. I won't tell you if I did that or not. Ha. Just guess la.

Anyway, studio may have been postponed till Friday. Whatever it is, I am going to get a full night's sleep tonight. I won't worry about design, won't worry about anything, and just sleep. Thank God for sleep.

I'm so glad for little things in life that perk up my day! I'm rooming with Gail next sem, and Gail is the highest pointer (girls) in hall so I need not worry about where I will room next sem. Thanks Gail!! And other little things like passing the super high cut-off point (It's gone up really high now, and alot of people cannot stay anymore, which is very sad) for Raffles Hall by about 4 points...just little bits of grace I am so grateful for. I am so grateful. I can't imagine what I would do if I couldn't stay on...I think I would just die of the stress, haha.

I am glad for the fairly high discrete I got for Float, Phoenix and Bizcom from my MMs cos I am afraid I have been really busy with schoolwork this sem and haven't been able to contribute as much as I could have. (Phoenix was the maddest time of my life, I was over-nighting at studio every single night for akicon and design at the time, and doing Phoenix during breaks. haha. But I loved the way the book came out. I've learned so much from my stints as layouter for the mag. I'm joining Pheonix again definitely next semester, die or no die. Oh wait, should I run for auditor?)

I saw some sparrows playing in the sand today when I was going up the steps to Bras Basah complex. A whole large group of them, playing in the sand like it was water! haha, they looked so happy and carefree. Haha, and of course that very famous Sparrow verse in Luke 12:6-7 came to me:

6 “What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. 7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

And further down:

Luke 12:22-34

22 Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. 23 For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. 24 Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! 25 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? 26 And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?

27 “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. 31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

32 “So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.

33 “Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it. 34 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

Lol, and my Bible reading today started off with "Do you see all these buildings? I assure you, they will be so completely demolished that not one stone will be left on top of one another!" Haha, I was wondering if I was spending too much time 'archi-ing" and too little time with God, and maybe this was my answer? Haha.

I often do not see God's grace in my life, because I am too busy worrying about all sorts of little things like what will happen in the future. The future is in God's hands.

I am so glad for the little breather I am having today, and the rest I will have later! Haha, hopefully I will dream of a super fantastic design tonight! :) Right, market spoiler Ah Pig? Haha, I am taking your advice.

Ahahaha I just remembered something! Today at popular I was browsing through graphic design books, like I said, and then I noticed this little boy standing just behind me. He looked a bit lost, and then he started to cry!! He was so tiny and cute I wanted to pick him up and comfort him haha, but then I just looked at him and asked him not to cry and what was the matter. Then he looked at me, and stopped crying a bit, and his sister turned the corner of the bookshelf and asked him to come. Then the naughty little boy looked at me and smiled a huge, very, very cute grin, and refused to go to his sister!! Hahahaa. His sister kept calling then he kept staring at me, with the grin going on and off. then his sister called his mom, and then she had to come over and carry him off. hahaahaaa, SOOO CUTE!!! I love kids!! I want one!! But I am graduating in 3 years, and have to work for another 2 in order to do RIBA part 3, (This means I can't marry until I turn 26)and I DO NOT WANT TO WORK WHEN I HAVE KIDS COS I WANT TO BE THERE FOR THEM...and heck I don't even have a wisp of a boyfriend yet...

I hate being a girl. I want to work, but I want to be there for the kids. SO how?? Arrrghhhhhh. Maybe I will adopt a kid. This will save the problem of finding a husband. And I will be giving an orphan a home. :)

PS: My beloved is back on screen :) :)

As Yamazaki Takeru, in Kiina :)

MiChi is a singer who sung the theme song for the series :))