Chasing the Sunrise

"For millions of years flowers have been producing thorns. For millions of years sheep have been eating them all the same. And it's not serious, trying to understand why flowers go to such trouble produce thorns that are good for nothing? It's not important, the war between the sheep and the flowers?... Suppose I happen to know a unique flower, one that exists nowhere in the world except on my planet, one that a little sheep can wipe out in a single bite one morning, just like that, even without realizing what he's doing - that isn't important? If someone loves a flower of which just one example exists among all the millions and millions of stars, that's enough to make him happy when he looks at the stars. He tells himself, 'My flower's up there somewhere...' But if the sheep eats the flower, then for him it's as if, suddenly, all the stars went out. And that isn't important?'"

--The Little Prince, Antoine de-Saint Exupery

Today at the dinner table dad was reading a Very Good Book called "The Phantom Tollbooth" by one Norton Juster, an American architect and writer. And the part was on this demon known as the Terrible Trivium, Demon of Petty Tasks and Worthless Jobs, Ogre of Wasted Effort, Monster of Habit. Now what a name that is! Yet what a hold he has on most people, how we do little things that don't matter to avoid the things that do matter.

This year, my aim is to prioritize, and use the time gifted to me wisely.

revival

decided to revive this very dead blog. i'm so used to instant posts on tumblr (reblog!!) that the idea of actually writing something out seems a bit alien to me.

i've been throwing things out of my life, believing they aren't important. but they are. to ME.

like reading, writing, drawing, painting, cooking, baking. they are easy at home. i find it strange to do it outside. but i need to adapt. adaptation is important.

i don't adapt well, i find.

and. i find myself at my wits end most of the time. just no motivation or passion to move on. yet...there still is a bit in me.

i wonder if i'll ever find it again.

oh! this blog is amazing me. hahahaha. suddenly, i realize there are worlds out there, and our time on earth is really short. there is loads to be said to eternal life, and i bet there are wonders beyond our comprehension. just have to find it.

faith

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

fresh perspectives :D

From Ben Jones to MIT class

"50 Things"

Dear Class of 2010,

This will be my last entry written specifically for you; beginning with the launch of our new site in early September, I'll begin focusing on the future class of 2011. I hope that you guys won't be strangers; stay in touch either in person (come visit us!) or online (please drop by the blogs from time to time and say hi).

As you begin your college experience, and I prepare for my 10-year college reunion, I thought I'd leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. I hope that some of them are helpful.

Here goes...

1. Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.

2. Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.

3. In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they'll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.

4. Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.

5. Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you're nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.

6. If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don't let people tell you that you "should be more organized" or that you "should plan better." Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated... and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.

7. At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn't do so well on the final, but I haven't thought about psych since 1993. I've thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son's godfather) at least once a month ever since.

8. Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that's part of the reason they chose to be professors.

9. Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn't count.)

10. Go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.

11. Don't date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.

12. When your friends' parents visit, include them. You'll get free food, etc., and you'll help them to feel like they're cool, hangin' with the hip college kids.

13. In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.

14. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.

15. All-nighters are entirely overrated.

16. For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.

17. Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as "in person.") Often someone's facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.

18. Take risks.

19. Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.

20. Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)

21. Welcome failure into your lives. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.

22. Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.

23. It's important to think about the future, but it's more important to be present in the now. You won't get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.

24. When you're living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents' money. If you're going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a "valuable social experience."

25. Don't be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don't take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.

26. Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.

27. Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.

28. Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.

29. No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You're going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can't imagine, across all fronts. You can't learn if you're closed off.

30. If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it's work doesn't mean it has to suck.

31. Don't always lead. It's good to follow sometimes.

32. Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn't take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.

33. Your health and safety are more important than anything.

34. Ask for help. Often.

35. Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.

36. In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late.

37. In the long run, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The MIT name on your resume won't mean much if that's the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don't waste them.

38. On the flip side, don't try to do everything. Balance = well-being.

39. Make perspective a priority. If you're too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.

40. Eat badly sometimes. It's the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.

41. Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.

42. Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.

43. If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.

44. Don't be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.

45. Explore the campus thoroughly. Don't get caught.

46. Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.

47. Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.

48. Don't make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.

49. Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.

50. This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love. Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.

I MISS US

Year 1 sem 2: Bangkok


Year 2 sem 2: AKICON


Year 2 Sem2 Akicon


Year 2 sem 2


Year 3 sem 1


Year 3 Sem 1


Year 3 sem 1


Year 3 sem 1


Year 3 sem 1


Year 3 sem 1


Year 3 Sem 1


Year 3 sem 2


Year 3 sem 2


Early Year 4


Early Yr 4


Early Yr 4

Kinda miss people :(

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
O’er us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

—Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

I love this song :)

Please Lord, help me to do the best in everything I do.

somewhere only we know

and we're back to school...back to studio and overnighting and all those things architecture students know

sometimes, i feel i'll miss these memories when i'm out there and working...those lonely nights in studio, those lonely walks back to hall, those lonely times of frustration...yet there was camaraderie with friends who cared, and who could empathize...

i will treasure all my time here

Weary

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Oh I feel so weary. After work, I feel like I could lie and sleep forever. But the next day, I have to get up again!

Work isn't easy, man. And this is just an internship. Wah, imagine, after I graduate, my life will be this way...and there's no school to look forward to @@ yelps!

I need some waiting upon the Lord. Cos I need a renewal of strength!! Pray that my Phillipines trip will be rewarding and give me some direction in life...also, I'm going to try out for vertical studio, even if it might seem a bit out of the way, and my strengths don't really lie in that direction. Whatever it is, I think it will be an experience I may never have once I begin work. So, try I will, and if God wills, I will join.

email sent.

FLU

i feel very miserable because i have the flu and it's going to be monday tomorrow and i have work and i wish i were at home and i wish life wasn't so miserable and sad and boring and i wish my nose would unblock and my eyes will feel less sensitive and i wouldn't have that funny feeling somewhere down in my stomach.

i never used to get flu...i only started getting the flu last sem after i overnighted too many times for riba and then i helped a senior do model after that and then the next day i was sick. the first time i was sick with flu for nearly two years liddat. after that, i din get sick in china even though quite alot did but now i've come down with flu twice in two months.

:(

my immune system isn't as strong as it used to be. or maybe i just cannot take the working environment (i hate sitting down in aircon and working from morning to evening...and i hate having to squash all sorts of things into my evenings and weekends (i have two dates after work next week already...not that i dislike it, i'm happy to meet up with friends, i just wish it wasn't so squashed and i wasn't so tired)

work isn't even stressful! but i think i have to learn to say no when people ask me out sometimes...i'm kinda glad i didn't watch a movie with some friends last saturday because it was late...was the right thing to do. was exhausted and i went for first service...so would have been in worse state today if i did watch the movie :)

anyway, met up with chu hwai and thierry today for some chit chat...i was kinda sick so the whole thing was a bit of a haze, not very sure what we chatted about...i think there were cute guys somewhere...but not sure. chu hwai got to know some cute guys...errr, that is all i remember. and chu hwai was very hungry. yeah. haha. i remember that too.

anyway, i think i will go to sleep and hope i'll be okay by 7am tmr because i have to go to work.

I HATE MONDAYSS!!! D:

lets kite! :)

tumblr is down

"Give generously, for your gifts will return to you later. Divide your gifts among many, for you do not know what risks might lie ahead. When the clouds are heavy, the rains come down. When a tree falls, whether south or north, there it lies.

If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done. God's ways are as hard to discern as the pathways of the wind, and as mysterious as a tiny baby being formed in a mother's womb. Be sure to stay busy and plant a variety of crops, for you never know which will grow - perhaps they all will."

Ecclesiastes 11:1-6

I was praying about a certain issue, and when I opened my Bible this morning I received this answer...after reading all my previously highlighted passages in Ecclesiastes. It's not quite about the things I will be writing about later, but for some reason it answered those questions as well. God works in mysterious ways.

"Honor Him in your youth before you grow old and no longer enjoy living. It will be too late then to remember Him, when the light of the sun and moon and stars is dim in your old eyes, and there is no silver lining left among the clouds."

--Ecclesiastes 12:1-2

I am young, and there is much I can do, and I will do it, whatever the sacrifices I have to make.

Today Qian Lyn, Lai Mei, Chu Hwai and I met up for a project we would like to put underway. I am really very excited about it. On one hand, I am unsure of my ability to do it, but on the other hand, if I wait for perfect conditions, I will never get anything done. I am really super excited about it! hahaha, I hope it will really come to fruition! :)

Yays to the team! We can do it! (I'M SO EXCITED!!! @@)

Sichuan

"For it is in giving that we receive..."
--St Francis of Assisi

I've been trying to write about Sichuan for ages! But nothing i wrote satisfied me. I kept feeling like there was something missing somewhere.

I'm even struggling now. I'm not sure how to start. All I want to do is write of the people. I'm not sure how to introduce them...not sure how to say it.

So I'll just barge in...before these faces become just faces, and their names fade into empty sounds from my mouth.

liu su with her toothy smile :B


she squeezed tears out for me on the last day, this little girl.

her name is 刘素. she is the most controlling little girl i have ever met. at first i would try and avoid her, this little girl with the big voice and the ability to drag me with her tiny little body all over the school. and then one day i decided to just talk with her (all the while being dragged from one end of the central courtyard to the other)...and in the course of the conversation i asked her what she liked to eat. Any normal little child would have just given me a type of food...but this little 7 year old girl told me that she liked her mother's cooking. she said: “我妈妈煮的饭是最好吃的。。。” I asked her what type of food her mother cooked, and she said: everything! she cooks very well. i asked her where her mummy and daddy was, and she said that they were working in the city, and she lived with her grandmother and grandfather...

i guess i kind of felt for her, because i understand how it is to miss my mother's cooking. after that i let her drag me around, and welcomed her when she came. she seemed to like her PE teacher, and i suspect she was trying to hitch me up with him...everytime she saw him she would grab me and pull me in his direction. hahaha. i invented a thousand reasons to go the other way. she begun to run to me when she saw me in school and yell: "姐姐抱抱！” and throw her arms around me. I really miss her, because of that. I miss that scream, perhaps because selfishly, it's a wonderful thing to have someone want to hug you when they see you...

as i talked and interacted more with her i realized that she was very kind and generous. she shared her things with other children. she had a sense of justice in her little heart. it's a bit hard to see on the outset.

of all the kids, because of her habit of hugging me, i think i think of her the most. on the last day, she refused to let me go, clinging to me throughout the day. she held me and asked for kisses and cried. she wanted love, this little girl. soft little heart. i miss her. i wonder how her future will be like, this headstrong creature. I will pray for her, pray for her future. I pray her mummy and daddy will come, I pray they can be family again. i hope to see her again one day too, and i hope her life will be good!


she's really pretty and sweet!


guo li in class, when i was experimenting with aperture, i think.

This is 国丽. I first noticed her because she kept smiling at me in our Primary 5 class...she would catch my eye and smile and then look shyly away. At first it was just this little thing we had...we would look at each other and smile and that was it! somehow that was enough...then on sports day she came and we spent the whole day just talking and taking photographs...she had a sweet way of saying: “好棒啊！” and be excited about pretty things. she is a very intelligent and pretty girl, her future will be bright! she loved little children, and though quiet by nature she opened up and chatted with me, and that touched my heart.

she was the first child to give me her photograph...with flower petals...she loves flowers. I think i can relate with someone who loves beauty like she does! haha...she cried too at the end. she was the last little girl to grab me. she did not let me go even outside the van. I still remember her pretty tear stained face when the driver shut the van door. I miss her and I pray also for her. I pray she will have a good future and she will grow in maturity. I pray that she will learn much, and I pray that she will learn more about the beauty of the human spirit and about life as much as she loves the beauty that is all around us.


Yong Qin after her run on sports day. She runs really fast!


Yong Qin and I.

This is 永亲.　she is a strong character. I believe she is quite wealthy, from her dress and her stationary. Like guo li, I first noticed her because she constantly smiled at me, and made eye contact. We did not talk much, but it was her who first made me realize that i might actually miss the children there.

initially before I came, i thought i would not miss those kids. That it would be a touch and go relationship. but even a person who smiles at you and never speaks can remain etched in your mind and your heart...and one can miss that, despite not knowing the person very well. smiles can form bonds, at least with me. I pray for Yong Qin, I pray she will learn maturity as well, as she grows up. I pray she will learn to care and love for others. I thank God for her sweet smile. I hope to meet her again.


My two favorite girls.


Kai Ping being Kai Ping.

This is 开平.　I first noticed him because he shaved his head, and I have a thing for rubbing little boy's shaved heads. (nothing pedo can, I have two little brothers and I do it all the time. haha) so that's what I did. He's the most amusing little boy I have ever met! He reacts to things with a big huuhaa...with total gungho. he is quite a thing for gifts. he first gave me some of his cards, the playing card things which they use to fight each other. then he gave me a spinning top, first a pink one and then because it was old, he gave me a new green one. next he gave me his red neck scarf, he had two, he said, and i could have one. then he gave me a great deal of his photographs, one of him and his sister, one of his mom, one of his dad, one of his sister as a child, his grandma.


kai ping and his antics.


dian deng pao head.

these were precious things to him...and he gave them freely. and he gave of himself as well, he would come over and chit chat...he would talk of everything he could think of. and in that way, he impressed himself into my heart, and he is one i will not forget easily. I pray for this little boy, that he will grow up into a solid young man with the same generous heart he has now. I pray he will be reunited with his family! And not just have photographs alone to remember them by.


handsome right!

Ha, meet 贵林. handsome hor. hahaha. anyway, i first noticed this kid because he refused to let me see what he was writing. he kept grinning and shaking his head, not letting me see...and then at the end this was what he wrote, so touching hor!


his shy, embarrassed smile.


touched.



this little boy, he went out to speak during my lesson despite not really knowing what to say because he wanted to do something for me. i could see him shivering in front of the class...wah i was really touched by what he did! he's a really shy, quiet boy, but there's an inner strength in him, a kindness, and i love seeing that. he gave me his photograph too, and he wrote a really touching letter (that i wanted to read all the last day but kept getting sidetracked by other children...hahaha, hey i like this kid.

i pray he will grow up to be a man of principle, that he will continue to do things for others, albeit quietly and silently (for isn't that the best way to do things for others? :D)


he can draw lor.


he smiled! :D

This is Huang Shuai. He sits next to Gui Lin. I first noticed him because he did not join in the games. I asked him to join but all he did was look out of the window and shiver. on the day they went singing in the other room, he sat in his corner and did not go with the rest of the class! what was wrong with him? he did not seem stupid. then one of the days, when the kids had coloring to do, i passed him some crayons, asking him to fill up the merlion inside the lines. imagine my surprise when he took the crayon and started coloring the merlion! wah, so surprised i hardly knew what to think. and i felt really happy too. he not only colored inside the lines, he used two colors for the merlion, which was better than some of the other kids.


he can do stuff one lor...

i decided to pay a little more attention to him after that, and i realized that he could speak, and he could copy other people when they did things. i suspect he is looked down upon by the other children, and that hampers him. one time when i asked him to write his name for me, he wrote 黄 in large letters, and then a child said loudly: "他写的字好丑啊!" the other part of his name, 帅, came out really small and tiny. I wish I could stop the bullying!


just needs someone to believe in him! yeah!

I pray that Huang Shuai will overcome this low self esteem somehow and I pray he will find a friend who believes in him! I really think that is all he needs. He is actually quite a smart boy I'm sure...


a very favorite photograph.

One thing I will truly treasure is the friendship I found with Ren Hui. I'm not sure how I will be able to keep in contact with those children, even with QQ and present sending. I will truly treasure the memories and I truly desire to go back there in the near future...however right here is a friendship gained and a friendship that I can continue. We spent a great deal of time together during the trip, without her I think it wouldn't have been as much fun as it was :) Also, I have found a travel partner whose ways and mine not just click, but are quite enhanced! Without her, I doubt I would have managed to enjoy so much of Chengdu during R&R.

I really hope we can travel together again in the future! :D

There are many more people I would like to mention...say a little bit about. The people above truly touched my heart....but so did many other little children and people who stepped into my life....perhaps I never stopped to take a photograph of some of them even, but here are a couple of photographs of people i don't think i'll forget so soon. I probably left people out. When I remember I will post them here.


周旭和唐兰, the two sec 2 girls i chatted with. I taught them some english too!


I never realized those two sessions meant enough for them to cry that day...


the bucket lady, who always made sure we had hot water (sometimes too much!) and made me really embarrassed because she was so old and she was taking pails of water for us young strong things.


tang fu xiao zhang and bao lao shi.


zhou shi fu, who cooked all our meals.


our P5 class!


and of course the whole team...even jo! I wish jo could have come, she was really nice to work with when we were helping william do his model, and she came by scalebar a few times and chatted with me :) The first few days I came back from the trip, I kept seeing yep people randomly in the faces of strangers. I guess I hung around with them so long it was weird not seeing them anymore. I will treasure the friendships I have gained here, and glad that I spent time with some of them even after the trip is over! I am glad for people like Liren and William who have kept in contact through msn, and for Liren, Shifang, Desmond, Edmond, Shing, Karen, Jue Ming and Denis whom I have met again after the trip for some really awesomely fun times with good food and good conversation :) as for the rest, i'm glad we have local comm coming up, so that we may meet again! :)

before I went to Sichuan, I wrote a list of my aims for this trip. I desired, on top of everything, to serve and give of myself, to help in any way i may. To see the children smile. And then, now, I think I was given far more than I gave. I suppose it is true what they say, that in giving, we gain a hundredfold back.

As aftermath of this trip, I desire more than ever to face the world with open hands. If I grab and grab of life and never open my hands and give things away, then, I will only have those things in my hands. If I open my hands and give away, then, things can be given to me as well :)

I thank God so much for giving me the opportunity to go on this trip. I thank God over and over again for this opportunity! How lucky I am! How fortunate! How blessed! I pray that I will be given more opportunities to serve again in the future! There is so much joy in serving, and the rewards are so great I cannot imagine why there are so many people who try to find happiness but it's all there when we serve...

everything i do

When I see the beauty of a sunset's glory,
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved
By a God so high

What can I do but thank You,
What can I do but give my life to You
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do but praise You,
Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah
A hallelujah, hallelujah

When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed You to, that could not hold You
Now You're making all things new by the power
Of Your risen life

--What Can I Do, Paul Beloche

Oh I love, love, love this song! every sentence speaks my soul this happy morning (saturday!) i love weekends!

i'm so used to waking up early i just got up at 8am this morning (normally i get up at 7am)...but i forced myself to stay in till 930. so nice!! and the morning is pretty as ever...

And this song, it reminds me time and time again, that everything I do, I do it for the Lord. Everything I do must be a hallelujah and a praise to my God!

Joys :)

God Is Good

Matthew 7:1-11

Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye. Don't give what is unholy to unholy people. Don't give pearls to swine! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.

Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks. You parents - if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him.

All found in Matthew. And both perfect for me. God is good.

today i had the strangest dream. I dreamed of guilin, the little boy I liked in fanshenjiuyixiao in chengdu. I dreamed he said he wanted to talk with me...and i wish i could.

i miss them. i really do! i wonder if they miss me and think of me sometimes....but i wonder also, how long this relationship can be kept up....

Quicky

I am in a hsotel in Chengdu City right now. I don['t have much time to write and this computer keyboard is sucky!

What we did in the last 2 weeks or so has been an extremely interesting experience. I will write more when i get back. I hope i don't die at work.

I really ahve to write things down because I will forget. And i do not want to forget those kids.

I tell you, this is the first time i mass cried. and...i am sorry to say i only shed tears when i hopped up the van and left. the kids were mass crying and i forced nothing out. i think i'm heartless.

i'm not sure what i['m wrirting about (i will improve the spelling and grammmar when i return. this keybord is sucky.

yep has been quite an enlightening experience. i think i will try missions next.

there has been much up and downs.

interesting experience, honestly.

i haven't sorted out my feelings. i think i will soon.

anyway is late. i will be going leshan tmr to see a giant Buddha statue. it's called DaFo.

need to be up really early.

tata for now. sorry for the poor quality. i really ahve not sorted out any feelings at all.

i tweeting lei i tweeting!

add me on twitter (i think my enthusiasm for it might die out very soon, unless you add me on twitter)

so add me on twitter i'm: http://twitter.com/aria_aria

yupyupyup

actually. i am bored of tweeting already. please unfollow me or you will be bored to death. thanks.

One Sweet Love

Paint a portrait of my mystery
Only close my eyes and you are here with me
A nameless face to think I see
To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of
My own devices....
Could I be wrong?

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sip on
The southern rain
As I do, I don't look don't touch don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.

--One Sweet Love, Sara Bareilles

Once in a while I stumble upon a song
that speaks exactly what i want to say
every word
paints my picture
more vividly than i could put myself
in words
of my own
those words of the poet
that i want to be

but lack
in some way

because it was a mystery
an imaginary one
maybe

i thought
perhaps too much
perhaps it was just a taste
(yeah i don't like getting to the point)
of something more that perhaps i craved

yeah, and in the end it was
probably just my imagination

and i'll leave it at that.

goodbye

death

a pretty young dental student in nus from selangor committed suicide on Wednesday.

i heard about it during Bible Study last night...

i wonder why she did it...and it suddenly struck me that anyone i know could do that...

and it scares me.

the full article

life is so precious, and bad things shall all pass. life is worth living. she's so pretty, must have been smart...what led her to take her life? it seems like life must have been good to her!

I wonder if she ever thought about what happens after death...

a whole lot of unanswered questions.

touched

oh no...I'm touched!! His name is shan you and he's my boystown student...and i feel so bad! he missed me! three weeks i did not see them because of submissions, and because i kept having to see my tutor until very late...and on the monday before tuesday submission, i just couldn't go! *sigh...

i miss them too!! my two boys!! what a terrible mummy i'll make, if i become an architect!! haha, i really do feel maternal toward my students.

sometimes i wonder what i want in life...

blessings

a post from yesterday to be shared here:

just feel very blessed today

i submitted 3 panels late but they say there will be no letter grade down if we submitted the panels in a3 yesterday which i did…

so blessed

today alot of random people smiled at me (even at trade hub where i pritned my panels) so i must look damn chui but it sure is nice of them to smile at me :) must be a smile of pity…

i really have so much to thank God for…expecially how He has sustained me for the last three hell weeks.

i’m going to miss my little dds corner and the dds mates who kept coming and going while i remained…i rather like this dds computer (strangely last TAW it was also the same computer i worked on…me and this computer have yuan fen.

it never hung on me, not even when i had 2 rhino models, my megapanel (6a1s in one go) in photoshop, autocad with 3 files open and internet explorer all on at the same time…

dear computer, i thank you…and i thank God for bringing me here, and you being the only computer not in use when i entered the dds two saturdays ago wanting to learn rhino…

and He provided a rhino expert behind me who gave me a one hour rhino tutorial and plenty more of his time during the next 10 hell days to submission.

and He didn’t let me have a backache even though i was hunched over the computer 18 hours a day…

and He didn’t let me fall sick…

and i had two cans of coffee but i never drank them and i let elaine have one because she needed some after 2 nights of no sleep.

and msian group are going to have lunch later at megabytes! i missthem…in the submission daze we barely saw each other because i was attached to the dds computer…

and my roomie gaily gave me two chocolate rice bars which gave me a chocolate craving after that which caused me to buy a whole pack of mint chocs from the coop (which was the last box) and that made other people around me happy too because the mint chocs are amazing :)

and…today i got a call from rsp architects saying i got internship from 3rd june to 30th july after my sichuan trip, so i have a job :) i liked rsp architects ever since i found out they designed henderson waves and the music conservatory behind RH…was just telling RenHui I wanted to work for them next time, and now i have an internship with them!

so happy today… :)

a post from today to be shared here:

God is so good, so good…I never knew how good He has been to me recently until i was in dds today and two people were telling me that their rhino model wouldn’t section cut and they couldn’t get renders and the computer hung…

and nothing happened to me…i got all my section cuts, i got all my renders…nothing really bad happened…and i finished on time…oh God is so good to me!! I barely realized it while submission was happening…oh He blessed me so much!!

I’m so glad and blessed that molulu was praying for me throughout!! intercessory prayer…is so powerful! THANKS SO MUCH MOLULU!! I’m so blessed to have a friend who prays for me…I must learn to pray for people also, as a constant thing, and to think about who to pray for every night! I never thought so much about people to pray for before…I just randomly include people i recently met or people i suddenly think of or people i’m constantly thinking of…and sometimes i don’t even pray for anyone!

but prayer is so important! I must learn to get into the habit of praying…praying is having a conversation with God! Like friendships, we have to always seek God and speak to Him and get to know Him better! And then our relationships will improve!

I have so much to learn! And I am so glad there is so much to learn…it’s so exciting! God is so good to me!!

I just saw my resolutions written on the sidebar, and so far...lets see what I've done:

1) Proverbs [erm, fail...i haven't really memorized proverbs! D: nvrmind got half a year more]
2) Laser Machine [YAH!! I USED THE LASER MACHINE!! FACED IT!! now it's not evil anymore, and i'm becoming quite expert!]
3) Use up material [eeehh, fail lah...i keep buying new material!]
4) Better dressed [maybe? hehe]
5) Budget [oh DIE FAIL!!! I just spent a fortune on printing!]
6) Save [eh FAIL]
7) Time management+Procrastination [erm, i think eating, sleeping and working was my life for the last 3 weeks, so i guess time management wasn't quite a problem because there was no time for other things...]
8) Facebook less [WIN!! I really facebook less lor...i went off facebook when i was dds-ing, so i really facebook like 85% less than last time]
9) Library [win for the beginning of semester, but my stomach (which kept growling in the library, which is bad) kept me borrowing books...which is not good i keep paying fines for late returns...which is terrible...ahhh...]

ok...i'm actually not bad. now that i've mastered laser machine, i'll replace it with exercise. I MUST EXERCISE!! I AM SO UNFIT!! erm, the facebook one i need to keep up...and ermmm...hmm..i better manage my money better from now on too!!

Praise You in the Storm

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can’t find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

—Praise You in the Storm, Casting Crowns

He will provide. I can carry on because He gives me strength!

And also I pray that my attitude toward others will improve, because I have been down lately, and somehow it always spills over in my conduct toward others...a bad personality trait.

Oh I have so much to learn, and I am so weak...But His strength is made perfect in weakness...So I will trust in Him! My help comes from the Lord! Please God, don't let me fail RIBA!! D:

SICHUAN FUNDRAISING

isn’t she beautiful?

isn’t he handsome?

girls have the wonderful ability of prettifying anywhere they live…

this is where they sleep…the boys

these are their toilets!

I am going Sichuan :D excited! haha...

OH DEAR! I have just received an email from our Fund Raising Head (her name is Jo and she’s awfully nice AND VERY PRETTY (but i haven’t figured out if she has a boyfriend or not…it is very confusing)) and apparently we are VERY BEHIND IN FUNDRAISING. We are lacking alotalot of money. So if anyone wants to donate alotalot of money, or who are friends with people who are willing to donate alotalot of money, or just want to donate a little bit…please donate! If not we will have not enough money to upgrade their kitchens and toilets (we are renovating a school in Sichuan, their living quarters, their computer room without computers and toilets and kitchens)…so we need alotalot of money. anyone want to donate computers? I’m not sure if this is possible (got transport costs and all that, but what if? hehe) anywey, if you do want to donate please donate! (i not paiseh anymore, this is for the kids!!!)

If you want to donate through bank transfer or cheque, can follow the procedure according to the link:

http://sichuan-yep.blogspot.com/

Pleaseplease help out!! Really want to help these kids and not waste our trip there!!

motto for 2010!

Proverbs 22:29
Seest thou a man diligent in his business?
he shall stand before kings;
he shall not stand before mean men.

I like the King Jame's Version of this verse because it uses the word 'diligent'! Diligent means patient, persevering, painstaking effort. If a man can do that, he will go far! He will stand before kings, and not before mean men.

Proverbs is so WISE! Even if you are not a Christian, proverbs is a better self help book than many on the market. it is very comprehensive. most self-help books can only expand upon the topics covered in Proverbs, because it covers practically every area of life. aye, i no kid you.

here is a link to Proverbs.

Proverbs was written by a wise king named Solomon. Solomon was wise because he asked God for wisdom rather than wealth...and then God gave him wealth as well because he chose what was more important!