Could It Be Any Harder

Back to my usual style of naming my blogposts after a song I'm listening to. At the moment it's Could It Be Any Harder by The Calling. I'm into alternative rock, but I can't deny I love classical as well. I realize perhaps my public personality is quite different from who I really am. My blog doesn't completely reflect who I am. It's a more superficial version of me. A reflection of my hates and wants and delights 'at the time'. Maybe if you read every post you may get a glimpse of me...but I think it's highly unlikely. Never mind, I guess I like it this way. :)

The weather is lovely now, after the horrible heat of the past few days. In fact, right now I must say I love the weather. It's nearly the way I like it. Only it's day. I love it when it rains at night. The imagination can run wild, and somewhere else is nearer then. Daytime holds less mystery.

Suddenly overwhelmed again by wanderlust. Many things are keeping me from it, responsibilities, family obligations. One day I will travel.

AT THE MOMENT I WANT TO GO HOME!!!! @@

Sometimes I say I want to do things. I want to get out of my comfort zone, do things I would never dream of doing. Take risks. etc etc. But I don't. I am a coward. I don't dare to do it, I only speak of it. How can I do this? All words and no action. Big bag of words I am.

I need to do things I'm afraid of doing. Arrgh, and somehow I know I will never do them because I am so cowardly.

I am feeling SO dissatisfied. There must be more to life than sitting here mugging!!! Mug mug mug. How much goes in I have no idea.

I think I'll go for a jog and wear out my dissatisfaction.

so long as there is a white sail and wind, i can go anywhere i want to go...

i am feeling ridiculously happy now because dad is in town and i'm going out with him and sis tmr morning!