--St Francis of Assisi
I've been trying to write about Sichuan for ages! But nothing i wrote satisfied me. I kept feeling like there was something missing somewhere.
I'm even struggling now. I'm not sure how to start. All I want to do is write of the people. I'm not sure how to introduce them...not sure how to say it.
So I'll just barge in...before these faces become just faces, and their names fade into empty sounds from my mouth.
liu su with her toothy smile :B
she squeezed tears out for me on the last day, this little girl.
her name is 刘素. she is the most controlling little girl i have ever met. at first i would try and avoid her, this little girl with the big voice and the ability to drag me with her tiny little body all over the school. and then one day i decided to just talk with her (all the while being dragged from one end of the central courtyard to the other)...and in the course of the conversation i asked her what she liked to eat. Any normal little child would have just given me a type of food...but this little 7 year old girl told me that she liked her mother's cooking. she said: “我妈妈煮的饭是最好吃的。。。” I asked her what type of food her mother cooked, and she said: everything! she cooks very well. i asked her where her mummy and daddy was, and she said that they were working in the city, and she lived with her grandmother and grandfather...
i guess i kind of felt for her, because i understand how it is to miss my mother's cooking. after that i let her drag me around, and welcomed her when she came. she seemed to like her PE teacher, and i suspect she was trying to hitch me up with him...everytime she saw him she would grab me and pull me in his direction. hahaha. i invented a thousand reasons to go the other way. she begun to run to me when she saw me in school and yell: "姐姐抱抱！” and throw her arms around me. I really miss her, because of that. I miss that scream, perhaps because selfishly, it's a wonderful thing to have someone want to hug you when they see you...
as i talked and interacted more with her i realized that she was very kind and generous. she shared her things with other children. she had a sense of justice in her little heart. it's a bit hard to see on the outset.
of all the kids, because of her habit of hugging me, i think i think of her the most. on the last day, she refused to let me go, clinging to me throughout the day. she held me and asked for kisses and cried. she wanted love, this little girl. soft little heart. i miss her. i wonder how her future will be like, this headstrong creature. I will pray for her, pray for her future. I pray her mummy and daddy will come, I pray they can be family again. i hope to see her again one day too, and i hope her life will be good!
she's really pretty and sweet!
guo li in class, when i was experimenting with aperture, i think.
This is 国丽. I first noticed her because she kept smiling at me in our Primary 5 class...she would catch my eye and smile and then look shyly away. At first it was just this little thing we had...we would look at each other and smile and that was it! somehow that was enough...then on sports day she came and we spent the whole day just talking and taking photographs...she had a sweet way of saying: “好棒啊！” and be excited about pretty things. she is a very intelligent and pretty girl, her future will be bright! she loved little children, and though quiet by nature she opened up and chatted with me, and that touched my heart.
she was the first child to give me her photograph...with flower petals...she loves flowers. I think i can relate with someone who loves beauty like she does! haha...she cried too at the end. she was the last little girl to grab me. she did not let me go even outside the van. I still remember her pretty tear stained face when the driver shut the van door. I miss her and I pray also for her. I pray she will have a good future and she will grow in maturity. I pray that she will learn much, and I pray that she will learn more about the beauty of the human spirit and about life as much as she loves the beauty that is all around us.
Yong Qin after her run on sports day. She runs really fast!
Yong Qin and I.
This is 永亲. she is a strong character. I believe she is quite wealthy, from her dress and her stationary. Like guo li, I first noticed her because she constantly smiled at me, and made eye contact. We did not talk much, but it was her who first made me realize that i might actually miss the children there.
initially before I came, i thought i would not miss those kids. That it would be a touch and go relationship. but even a person who smiles at you and never speaks can remain etched in your mind and your heart...and one can miss that, despite not knowing the person very well. smiles can form bonds, at least with me. I pray for Yong Qin, I pray she will learn maturity as well, as she grows up. I pray she will learn to care and love for others. I thank God for her sweet smile. I hope to meet her again.
My two favorite girls.
Kai Ping being Kai Ping.
This is 开平. I first noticed him because he shaved his head, and I have a thing for rubbing little boy's shaved heads. (nothing pedo can, I have two little brothers and I do it all the time. haha) so that's what I did. He's the most amusing little boy I have ever met! He reacts to things with a big huuhaa...with total gungho. he is quite a thing for gifts. he first gave me some of his cards, the playing card things which they use to fight each other. then he gave me a spinning top, first a pink one and then because it was old, he gave me a new green one. next he gave me his red neck scarf, he had two, he said, and i could have one. then he gave me a great deal of his photographs, one of him and his sister, one of his mom, one of his dad, one of his sister as a child, his grandma.
kai ping and his antics.
dian deng pao head.
these were precious things to him...and he gave them freely. and he gave of himself as well, he would come over and chit chat...he would talk of everything he could think of. and in that way, he impressed himself into my heart, and he is one i will not forget easily. I pray for this little boy, that he will grow up into a solid young man with the same generous heart he has now. I pray he will be reunited with his family! And not just have photographs alone to remember them by.
handsome right!
Ha, meet 贵林. handsome hor. hahaha. anyway, i first noticed this kid because he refused to let me see what he was writing. he kept grinning and shaking his head, not letting me see...and then at the end this was what he wrote, so touching hor!
his shy, embarrassed smile.
touched.
this little boy, he went out to speak during my lesson despite not really knowing what to say because he wanted to do something for me. i could see him shivering in front of the class...wah i was really touched by what he did! he's a really shy, quiet boy, but there's an inner strength in him, a kindness, and i love seeing that. he gave me his photograph too, and he wrote a really touching letter (that i wanted to read all the last day but kept getting sidetracked by other children...hahaha, hey i like this kid.
i pray he will grow up to be a man of principle, that he will continue to do things for others, albeit quietly and silently (for isn't that the best way to do things for others? :D)
he can draw lor.
he smiled! :D
This is Huang Shuai. He sits next to Gui Lin. I first noticed him because he did not join in the games. I asked him to join but all he did was look out of the window and shiver. on the day they went singing in the other room, he sat in his corner and did not go with the rest of the class! what was wrong with him? he did not seem stupid. then one of the days, when the kids had coloring to do, i passed him some crayons, asking him to fill up the merlion inside the lines. imagine my surprise when he took the crayon and started coloring the merlion! wah, so surprised i hardly knew what to think. and i felt really happy too. he not only colored inside the lines, he used two colors for the merlion, which was better than some of the other kids.
he can do stuff one lor...
i decided to pay a little more attention to him after that, and i realized that he could speak, and he could copy other people when they did things. i suspect he is looked down upon by the other children, and that hampers him. one time when i asked him to write his name for me, he wrote 黄 in large letters, and then a child said loudly: "他写的字好丑啊!" the other part of his name, 帅, came out really small and tiny. I wish I could stop the bullying!
just needs someone to believe in him! yeah!
I pray that Huang Shuai will overcome this low self esteem somehow and I pray he will find a friend who believes in him! I really think that is all he needs. He is actually quite a smart boy I'm sure...
a very favorite photograph.
One thing I will truly treasure is the friendship I found with Ren Hui. I'm not sure how I will be able to keep in contact with those children, even with QQ and present sending. I will truly treasure the memories and I truly desire to go back there in the near future...however right here is a friendship gained and a friendship that I can continue. We spent a great deal of time together during the trip, without her I think it wouldn't have been as much fun as it was :) Also, I have found a travel partner whose ways and mine not just click, but are quite enhanced! Without her, I doubt I would have managed to enjoy so much of Chengdu during R&R.
I really hope we can travel together again in the future! :D
There are many more people I would like to mention...say a little bit about. The people above truly touched my heart....but so did many other little children and people who stepped into my life....perhaps I never stopped to take a photograph of some of them even, but here are a couple of photographs of people i don't think i'll forget so soon. I probably left people out. When I remember I will post them here.
周旭和唐兰, the two sec 2 girls i chatted with. I taught them some english too!
I never realized those two sessions meant enough for them to cry that day...
the bucket lady, who always made sure we had hot water (sometimes too much!) and made me really embarrassed because she was so old and she was taking pails of water for us young strong things.
tang fu xiao zhang and bao lao shi.
zhou shi fu, who cooked all our meals.
our P5 class!
and of course the whole team...even jo! I wish jo could have come, she was really nice to work with when we were helping william do his model, and she came by scalebar a few times and chatted with me :) The first few days I came back from the trip, I kept seeing yep people randomly in the faces of strangers. I guess I hung around with them so long it was weird not seeing them anymore. I will treasure the friendships I have gained here, and glad that I spent time with some of them even after the trip is over! I am glad for people like Liren and William who have kept in contact through msn, and for Liren, Shifang, Desmond, Edmond, Shing, Karen, Jue Ming and Denis whom I have met again after the trip for some really awesomely fun times with good food and good conversation :) as for the rest, i'm glad we have local comm coming up, so that we may meet again! :)
before I went to Sichuan, I wrote a list of my aims for this trip. I desired, on top of everything, to serve and give of myself, to help in any way i may. To see the children smile. And then, now, I think I was given far more than I gave. I suppose it is true what they say, that in giving, we gain a hundredfold back.
As aftermath of this trip, I desire more than ever to face the world with open hands. If I grab and grab of life and never open my hands and give things away, then, I will only have those things in my hands. If I open my hands and give away, then, things can be given to me as well :)
I thank God so much for giving me the opportunity to go on this trip. I thank God over and over again for this opportunity! How lucky I am! How fortunate! How blessed! I pray that I will be given more opportunities to serve again in the future! There is so much joy in serving, and the rewards are so great I cannot imagine why there are so many people who try to find happiness but it's all there when we serve...
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