Tiredness and Discouragement

There was a story once I read, about a man who in a dream walked into a shop selling all the items that the devil used in his daily work.

All his tools were attractively displayed: Hate, malice, ugliness, spite, deceit, envy, pride, idolatry and all tools of wickedness were on display.

Each tool was marked with it's own price tag.

The man walked among the goods, and came across a wedge. It looked old and well used, but the price tag that was attached was higher than any of the others.

So he asked the shopkeeper what the wedge was.

"Oh that," said the shopkeeper. "It is the wedge of discouragement."

"Why is it priced so high, when one can see that it is clearly more worn than the others?"

"Because," said the shopkeeper. "It is more useful to the devil than all the other tools. He can pry open and get to a man's heart with that, when he cannot get to him using any other tool. Once he gets inside, he can use the man to do what suits him best. It is well used because the devil uses it on everyone he can, and few even know it belongs to him."

This weekend was one of discouragement for me. I have been working steadily for some time, and there has been goodness and gladness and consciousness of jobs well done. But the steady stream of strength has to be from the right sources, and the moment I turn my eyes from the giver of strength I falter on my own.

Last week was a slow and discouraging week for me. I was so tired after work all I wanted to do was rest. And in the midst of the rest I felt that I couldn't handle everything that I needed to do.

I was requested to lead for something, and today I decided I couldn't take it anymore. So I refused.

But my heart was not at peace, and my reluctance to help and support clouded the whole group. I was so discouraged and down that I couldn't give spirit to the crowd. I had nothing to say, only discouragement.

The devil knows that goodness can come of this work. And I know it, deep in my heart. If I do not stand up and give my utmost support, then things will not be able to move. I have to obey. I have to do it. Nay...when Elijah said that, God told him: There are seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal.

I am tired. And discouraged. While I want to ask God for strength, and I know that I want to learn and I want to lead too, because I know it is good for me...I am overwhelmed, there is alot of work to do and I cannot do it all. I want to do them all well, but I know that all these require time to do...and I only have 24 hours a day!

Well! I decided to just by faith offer my help. I am willing to lead. I am willing for things to move. God's work has to be done, whatever the pain I feel in my heart, or the suffering that I have to endure.

And it is not so bad! God loves me, He takes care of my need, and He is glad when I obey. All I have to do is obey, and He takes care of everything else.

I am glad to have chosen to obey. I do not know how to do everything, and my heart is heavy and unhappy.

But there is still a peace in my heart that I have chosen to do the right thing.