Happy Valentines Day!!!

I can't wait to tomorrow
This feeling has swallowed me whole
And know that I've lost control
This heart that I've followed
Has left me so hollow
That was then, this is now, yeah you have changed everything

Everytime I see your face
My heart takes off on a high speed chase
Now don't be scared, it's only love
That we're falling in
I would never do you wrong
Or let you down or lead you on
Don't look down, it's only love
Baby, that we're falling in
--Falling In, Lifehouse

:) Happy Valentines Day everyone!!! :DDDDDD

The Lady

First came bright Spirits, not the Spirits of men, who danced and scattered flowers-soundlessly falling, lightly drifting flowers, though by the standards of the ghost-world each petal would have weighed a hundred-weight and their fall would have been like the crashing of boulders. Then, on the left and right, at each side of the forest avenue, came youthful shapes, boys upon one hand, and girls upon the other. If I could remember their singing and write down the notes, no man who read that score would ever grow sick or old. Between them went musicians: and after these a lady in whose honour all this was being done.

I cannot now remember whether she was naked or clothed. If she were naked, then it must have been the almost visible penumbra of her courtesy and joy which produces in my memory the illusion of a great and shining train that followed her across the happy grass. If she were clothed, then the illusion of nakedness is doubtless due to the clarity with which her inmost spirit shone through the clothes. For clothes in that country are not a disguise: the spiritual body lives along each thread and turns them into living organs. A robe or a crown is there as much one of the wearer’s features as a lip or an eye. But I have forgotten. And only partly do I remember the unbearable beauty of her face.

“Is it? … is it?” I whispered to my guide. “Not at all,” said he. “It’s someone ye’ll never have heard of. Her name on earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golders Green.” “She seems to be … well, a person of particular importance?” “Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in this country and fame on Earth are two quite different things.” “And who are these gigantic people … look! They’re like emeralds … who are dancing and throwing flowers before her?” “Haven’t ye read your Milton? A thousand livened angels lackey her,” “And who are all these young men and women on each side?” “They are her sons and daughters.” “She must have had a very large family, Sir.” “Every young man or boy that met her became her son-even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.” “Isn’t that a bit hard on their own parents?” “No. There are those that steal other people’s children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer, to their own wives.”

“And how … but hullo! What are all these animals? A cat-two cats-dozens of cats. And all those dogs … why, I can’t count them. And the birds. And the horses.” “They are her beasts.” “Did she keep a sort of zoo? I mean, this is a bit too much.” “Every beast and bird that came near her had its place in her love. In her they became themselves. And now the abundance of life she has in Christ from the Father flows over into them.” I looked at my Teacher in amazement. “Yes,” he said. “It is like when you throw a stone into a pool, and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? Redeemed humanity is still young, it has hardly come to its full strength. But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as yonder lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life.”

—The Great Divorce, CS Lewis

I read this a long time ago. And this image has always imprinted itself in my mind as "the person I longed to be". Isn't this a picture of what a Christian ought to be? A person who changes and fills her surroundings with the love of the Father. With the selfless Agape love that is like concentric circles, spreading forward and onward.

Such love will awaken all the dead things of the universe into life. And this love is filled with joy!!

Merry Christmas

Hellow long abandoned blog!

Merry Christmas everyone!! :DDDDD

Dialogue in the Dark

as some of you might know, my thesis topic is called (at the moment) a development centre for the blind. I was going to use visually handicapped, but I find it bothers the blind to be called handicapped more than blind, so i shall stick to blind.

renhui told me about this thing going on at ngee ann poly called dialogue in the dark, so this morning, having nothing in particular to do, i went.

i called them at 945am to ask if there were slots, then they said what was the earliest i could come…i told them 11…so they said ok come at 11!

the afternoon was booked full though.

so i arrived at ngee ann poly sharp at 11am…and guess what i was the only person there!! hahahaa. student pricing was sgd12, so i paid up and was led into a dark room by a perky young lady (sighted) and was briefed about what would happen.

then the door opened into the dark…

when i entered, a warm voice welcomed me in and asked me to move toward his voice. i did so and felt the floor texture change. the voice asked me what it was…i said it felt like grass.

it was a very friendly voice, and as the voice kept talking, i was able to navigate the space very well with the help of my walking cane.

being in the dark is really not that scary. i felt comfortable despite not being able to see anything. for some reason, when i was in the dark my eyes kept watering and searching for a light somewhere…i caught a dim red glow somewhere during the journey in the dark but otherwise it was pitch black.

I found myself listening to the voice of my guide, who kept up an amiable chatter throughout. He had quite a funny sense of humor and tended to make funny assumptions about things that i couldn’t help laughing at and warming to.

so i guess it was because i had a guide that i didn’t feel scared.

i was wondering if my other senses would suddenly enhance themselves once i entered the dark space. i found that didn’t really happen. i found instead that i had to think more. I had to pay attention to what my senses were already picking up.

i could identify materials easily, i could sense if i were walking on carpet, on wood, on gravel, on pebbles…but i had to pay a great deal of attention. If I started a conversation with my guide, i tended to lose track of what i was doing, because it required so much concentration.

the experience was largely a very enclosed one. nothing could prepare me for real blindness, if it ever happened to me. imagine walking around and navigating traffic, finding your way around in the big bad world outside.

and i was in a safe environment with a very capable guide who told me what places were.

besides concentration, there was also a lot of logical thinking to do. For example, if I were in a moving vehicle, if the wind blowed in my direction, it would mean i were facing the direction of movement. unfortunately, i didn’t figure that out, i mixed up the directions because my brain was thinking the wind was coming from a fan, so there would be open space in front…without sight, there are many things a blind person could mistake as something else, because they rely on hearing a lot, and hearing can sometimes be misguided.

after the journey through the dark, i had coffee and a cookie in the dark and got to chit chat with my guide. I told him I was doing my thesis in architecture on the Blind. He was an amazing blind date. (I couldn’t help that…lol). He was far more interesting than most guys I know. It helped that I couldn’t see him at all…

You know, I think blind dates should be like that. I mean, we would truly get to know a person without actually seeing how they look, so we get a glimpse into their personalities and character rather than focusing on their physical attributes.

Anyway, I asked him about stuff like what was his favorite place in Singapore (Universal Studios, he likes roller coasters because he kind of can’t see how high he is but once he plunges down he sort of knows he was really high up). And then I found out he was blind since birth, and he has a sister and lives in an apartment and likes twitter but isn’t much of a facebook person (because he can’t see faces…dotdotdot). And he plays football with a plastic bag around it with blind and semi-visually impaired people and the totally blind can’t play striker (because the goalkeepers won’t tell him where the goalposts are). And he stalks women at traffic junctions because he can hear their high heels.

And that he’s been to Gold Coast and HK (and more, but I never asked) and loves iphone apps because there are many that cater for the blind (they read out stuff for him).

And that if he were in a soundproof room, he wouldn’t be able to judge the size of the room because he couldn’t hear a thing. And that he would have to feel around instead.

And that all rooms have acoustics and resonance and he can judge high ceilings and low ceilings and listens for echoes.

How cool is that? He is as able as you or i, and he goes out alone all over singapore (but he doesn’t like sg cos it’s hot).

he thinks guide dogs aren’t very useful (oh there’s only ONE guide dog in the whole of singapore, imagine!) because they only prevent you from falling into drains. Otherwise you have to guide them and must know where you want to go. And you don’t have to feed walking canes.

So, I wanted to write all these down because I might forget all these points (didn’t write anything down in the dark…)

anyway, it was an amazing experience and I might go there again when there are more people (more of an experience as there would be people to bump into and knock with a cane and stuff, more real).

Well, I really enjoyed my trip there. Do go! It’ll help the blind people support themselves, and you’ll learn to really appreciate your sight.

http://www.dialogueinthedark.com.sg/DiD/Pages/default.aspx

Also, you’ll find that blind people are just like you and me, human beings with hopes and dreams and they are so capable and brave and have overcome so much more than most of us. I am afraid I was thinking of blind people in categories, and asked some stupid questions like “hmm, but shouldn’t all blind people love music?” and then my guide, his name is kelvin by the way, said: “Oh they have their own hobbies…like you all…sometimes you like music, sometimes they don’t. sometimes they like crafts, they like cooking, they like different things…”

wah I must have really riled him, but he didn’t show it, he was really high eq-ed throughout. I was so stupidly judgmental.

Anyway, I didn’t leave without some momentos!

I got a braille card!

braille

i got an orange water bottle too (i love the color…)

meet my blind guide, Kelvin! That’s the braille wall behind…I like the wall color :D

I SO APPRECIATE BEING SIGHTED NOWWWW...and the blind are SUCH AMAZING PEOPLE.

wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

--Wait
by Russell Kelfer

John Mayer

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring

Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)
Oh, with half of my heart

I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else
Made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself
Lonely was the song I sang, until the day you came
Showing me another way and all that my love can bring

Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)
Oh, with half of my heart
With half of my heart

Your faith is strong
But I can only fall short for so long
Down the road, later on
You will hate that I never gave more to you
Than half of my heart
But I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
With half of my . . .

Half of my heart
Oh, half of my heart

Half of my heart's got a real good imagination
Half of my heart's got you
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That half of my heart won't do

Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring
And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything

Half of my heart, oh, half of my heart
Half of my heart, oh, half of my heart
Half of my heart, oh, half of my heart
Half of my heart . . .

--John Mayer, Half of My Heart

Whoa. Talent!

stop motion