to sila: somewhere only we know

there are beginnings and there are endings...and there are endings that are beginnings of other things...

:) :(

sadness and happiness are just emotions...i'm happy now, but i am sad as well.

it's time for pride to take backstage, and leave more room for hurt...

at least then i'll know i'm human. frail. perhaps its time for the ice to break.

what a mishmash of emotions i am

hahaha, i'm just being emo because it's sila and moi's last night together (sounds wrong huh)...nyways i have to dedicate a post to her, cos she and i, well we've done a gazillion nutty things together. sigh. we just had our last crazy overnight movie screening together (we do it at all the wrong times, the last time i had studio submission the next day, was stressed and hadn't slept for like how many nights, and then we watched 50 first dates together hahaha)

forgive me, i'm going to be long winded

this time we watched he's just not that into you (we watch bimbo movies tgt, it's a girl thing) and tmr i have to tie up loose ends and shift completely to bk 5 to my new roomie's room (gailgail!!) and check out of hall by noon...hahaha

but i will never regret this

yah, the pride, backstage, room for hurt, human, frail and icebreaking are the result of the movie lah. i kind of liked jeejee, because she was so unselfish! which is exactly the opposite of me...i never let my feelings show, cos i'm afraid to get hurt!

nice movie, glad to have watched it

i'm going to miss our nightly walks to cheers, our midnight runs, our random outings,
ice cream dates, late night discussions about movies, food, boys, clothes..., tasty aunty visits, bbqs on rooftops, sigh, she even went to studio with me once, when i had to scan in my urban serial vision things at around 4am! and exam nights mugging with her at the bed and me at the table, stressing out together and encouraging each other...gifts on doorknobs and tables, chocolate cake and strawberry shortcake...ruffles, pringles...beard papa buns...ah, cooking in the kitchenette together, eating dinner and complaining about the heat, card games, walks to fongseng...so many things i cannot write them all

will missmiss you!!

i'm sorry if i haven't been the bestest of roomies! i'm quiet, while sila likes to talk...i can be boring, i am messy, i am never around...when i am around i am stressed to the max, i have papers all over the place, cardboard, pens and pencils, t squares, rulers...i leave the light on, i sleep at weird hours...i don't notice when you are stressed as well...i don't bring back lunch when i know you don't eat it sometimes because it's too late. i leave my dirty dishes, clothes on the rack...hahaha...oh no, i'm revealing everything.

i have a lot to learn from you! you're a very kind person, and very selfless, and i have been so lucky to have you as my roomie. it's been lovely, and it's not an end, but a beginning. we'll keep in touch! and we'll have more random outings, and i must so go visit your place when you and your sis find one!

emo-ing

and it's time to sleep...
will miss you

RE-CLAIMING HERITAGE

some random angmoh old guy with blazing blue eyes stared at me in amazement just now at the nus museum and said: "you have such beautiful brown skin. lovely tan..." @@ it's never happened before...hahaha. not in asia. maybe i should migrate, then all the people will go: "you have such beautiful brown skin...lovely tan..." alot. here it's just: "why you so black one? go swimming ah...must wear sunblock next time..."

LOL

anyway, i was there checking out the shophouse studies some of my classmates (UM-NUS joint studio) have been doing since 11 june in KT (quite cool, worth a visit!) it's on the third floor, and as nus museum is just behind rh, do go, do go!! very small but informative exhibition...

most of the things are laser cut, so don't be too awed lah. haha, i met a material science student there and she was gasping in awe at the fine details on the gates :)

but lovely stuff. there were too many people to take notes though (without risking looking too nerdy) so i will drop by another time to get a better idea. great work! and it was nice meeting our fellow brothers and sisters from UM...haha, i could've ended up there, maybe...

yah. :)

meanwhile it is really hot and i am going to melt
aircon. i NEED.

i'll be going back to kl on monday!! SO HAPPY!! SO HAPPY!!! :)))))))))

If it's enough to love

like french accents, french songs are to die for...

S'il Suffisait D'aimer (If it's enough to love)
Celine Dion

last night i couldn't answer when asked what i would wish for if if God granted me a single wish. there are too many wishes to have! if love be enough, could i wish for all to love each other? perhaps i will ask God to let me take this wish with me, and wish one day when wiser...but there will always be the temptation to wish when little things go wrong. perhaps it is good i never have a wish guaranteed to come true.

perhaps magic doesn't exist because human beings are not wise enough to hold such power.

a forest of steampunkish ents
photo courtesy of tito (without permission)

a small group of us had an outing last night...and we found a place where the stars were bright. and we lay back and talked and even sang. it seemed like the right thing to do, somehow. there, it felt like an alternate universe, the red lights on the cranes at the construction sites west transformed into a forest of steampunk-ish ents. the lights at the other end looked like a city from a science fiction movie. and there was the giant crane s and i found recently, where the ball of fire was, which lighted up the sky and became a guide of sorts. i will go there again...

the room of echoes, shelob's stair...so are we uncovering secret spaces? or are we transforming the banal into the fantastic, because we have discovered a a desire within us that nothing in the world can satisfy, and we try to invent it on our own?

i just realized that s and i both had imaginary pets when younger, and for some reason our pets were horses and wolves.

perhaps she would be enraptured by this poem too, as i was and still am:

Old longings nomadic leap
Chafing at custom's chain;
Again from its brumal sleep
Wakens the ferine strain.

Atavism, John Myers O'Hara

i have dark tendencies. hahaha. lol. i may have punned.

i can't wait to find a bricked up wall opening to another dimension. perhaps a trapdoor opening to the sky and then you push it up and are whisked to the sphere, and then everything you think of comes true, even your greatest fears.

i'm having great fun mixing up existing fantasy and sci-fi

take me in+lai mei's birthday

Take Me In (Kutless)
Take me past the outer courts
Into the Holy Place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
And the Priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
But it's only found in one place

[Chorus:]
Take me into the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the lamb
Take me into the holy of holies
Take the coal, touch my lips, here I am

yeah, it's only found one place...this joy that seems so elusive...but i find it again once in a while, and that's a taste that will linger and pull me through! :)

been a tiring yet fun day. happy birthday, lai mei! happy 22nd! you're my da jie now!! haha!

lai mei and i went to iluma today (i going there alot!) so that lai mei could visit the garden grow exhibition which she missed previously! haha, we stayed there overlong and i actually made notes lor, (i spend my life trying to please randy, haha) but i still don't understand alot of the projects...although it is a practice in thinking, like randy says...but i don't know how to think D:

i kind of like the place, though. only problem it was SO HOT. it had a clean, warehouse feel to it...kind of raw and yet classy...i don't know. but it was HOT. and it was torture staying in there too long lor. still, it was a good opportunity to study masters work, especially since there was nearly no one there 'cept me and laimei and one or two random other visitors. no fashion design student to breath down my shoulder heh.

anyway, it was nice. sigh. masters is so close and so far away. so scary!!

and then there is work! and the future...such a strange thing...

we had dinner at pastamania when chuhwai finished his first day as an intern at randy's office. haha. apparently interning at randy's is pretty stressful...pig had homework leh! haha, and had to OT quite a bit...we had three pizzas and ordered them one at a time and after a while the person at the counter was grinning at me because she saw me so many times...haha. but was fun lah.

overall fun day. sigh. and now i cannot sleep because yesterday i stayed up till 6.30am finishing the side prop design for float and now my body thinks it's day or something. and horrors they are playing love story by taylor swift over and over again at comm hall and i'm beginning to get very sick of it!! i actually liked it before! poor taylor swift!

haih. now i go do something else because my body still thinks it's day and i cannot sleep.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAI MEI!! MANY HAPPY RETURNS :)

do you know what a crazy thing love is?

If Love's a Sweet Passion, why does it torment?
If a Bitter, oh tell me whence comes my content?
Since I suffer with pleasure, why should I complain,
Or grieve at my Fate, when I know 'tis in vain?
Yet so pleasing the Pain is, so soft is the Dart,
That at once it both wounds me, and Tickles my Heart.

--If Love's a Sweet Passion from Henry Purcell's The Fairy Queen (act 3)

*disclaimer...nah, i not suffering from love much...just found this random surfing, and thinking it is true...

found on anna's blog:
the building blocks of life (建筑有情天）
considering a watch...but dunno got time haha

architects can change the world?

image via dezeen

ahhhh, i want i want it's SO CUTE

dedicated to gailgail

it's funny i don't really feel like blogging nowadays...

maybe no inspiration...haha

last night was interesting...i went with sijia to the nus architecture thesis exhibition at iluma bugis called "how does your garden grow". master student work is interesting, but i didn't really understand most of the concepts, though some of the models were really cool.

met randy there! going to miss him next year...and he said he probably wouldn't be tutoring in nus anymore after this :( sad leh. met his wife too! she's an architect! haha. she's nice!!

anyway, ROJAK was interesting for a while, and then we got a bit restless and decided to go and visit the rest of iluma (the more i look at the building, the more i think it's really very ugly...like people...sometimes they look interesting, and the more you lget to know them they begin to lose their interestingness...then there are those who look boring at first, then as you explore further there are layers of complexity within that just grab your attention...i mean buildings, of course...drats, i am beginning to think of buildings as humans).

then we got sidetracked by frozen yoghurt at iluma, but decided instead to hunt down the best icecream in singapore, which at the moment is marvellous cream at the connection between raffles place and suntec. I LOVE ICECREAM.

after the icecream (yumyum) we decided to visit park view square to see the nice lobby (it's really grand leh). after admiring it we did something i cannot say (nah we din vandalize anything) but it was plain crazy and i can still feel the adrenaline rush. we were darn lucky.

buildings are exciting places.

the adrenaline rush was a bit too much so we decided to go back to hall after that. but we have plans for more unusual expeditions :)

ah, today was fun too! after church (i got pulled into this by the tempting waft of durians from muar) campus group went to jurong west for fantastic duck rice (thanks stacey's parents!) and then we bummed out at stacey's place playing streetfighter and a VERY CUTE GAME called smallbigworld (will you be my fwiend?)...lol...and skippy has to be one of the cutest doggies in the world!

ooh, and i have to mention another interesting outing on thursday...jessen just finished his intern thing at the metalwork place (i should have gotten him to do my pinhole...) and so sila said he should treat us and for some reason he agreed @@ hahaha...so where do we go but AH LOY THAI at Shaw Towers...good stuff, highly recommended! then we went to swensons (because i wanted icecream lorh) and i had fondue! i think i could make my own fondue...nice...then we wandered around the city and ended up sitting down near the street and played truth or dare and then we wandered somemore to the singapore river and just sat there for a long while staring at the water and chatting the things people chat about when it's night and the air is salty and the city is reflected off the water...

hmm, and then friday night junming, jonchong, rachel and i had a most interesting supper...we had sushi and chocolate fondue cake at changi airport terminal 3!! hahaha...i'm a bit lazy to write out exactly how we ended up there with sushi and choc fondue cake but if you ask junming he has alot of weird photos and videos in his camera about this...

okie! i updated alot!! this is for you, gailgail!! :)))

Lucky!

addicted!!! ADDICTED!!!
man i love mraz, but who doesn't? heh...

lucky indeed, to be in love with one's best friend, and be loved back!! :)

think that's the best kind of love, to be good friends first...phileo before eros. only does it ever happen? i can't imagine being together with any of my best guy friends...the idea is plain weird! hahaha...

minor update: what i like about mraz's songs are the stark innocence in it, and what i love about this song is the fact that there is what i understand of joy here, where joy isn't mere happiness, but joy is this bubbly, happy thing of loving despite. happiness for no apparent reason. happiness not influenced by circumstances...

day out

image via nms christian lacroix

"...this is why on stage i insist of taking heed of director and actors with much humility, as i do not attend to my own world but aim to illustrate others' vision while of course sharing with my inspiration..."

--Christian Lacroix the costumer--

me likeylikey. if ever i were to become an architect, i feel i would like to be known as a humble one...

went to the singapore national museum today and had a nice time inside the Christian Lacroix exhibition gallery...went by myself (i really enjoy going around by myself for some reason, i think there may be something wrong with me, had a great uncle who became a hermit) and spent such a long time over all the exhibits and read up all the information on the kiosks that this other guy (i think he's a fashion design student) probably thought i was a fashion design student too, specially since i went around with a notebook (because i don't have a camera anymore bugger).

i suppose you know why i like to go around alone now...my interests are weirder than most people's...and going with other people means that i can't do weird stuff like spend two hours in a very small exhibition space reading things and glaring at the clothing critically, trying to figure out what was voile, what was tulle, what was organza, what was latex, raw silk, jester, muslin...i still don't know what is what...darn

but i really admire this christian lacroix guy. really follows the times...and his drawings are fabulous! in the beginning they had this style, and then it changed a bit (but he was still using paint wash, pencil and the other painting material things fashion designers use to do their drawings) and suddenly i saw digital drawings!! waaah, i was impressed leh. i was so impressed i think i scared off a couple by moving in right next to them and staring at the digital drawing with an open mouth and fascinated look...hey at least i didn't walk in between them lor, but they were blocking the nicest pic. i got a good look at it after they left anyway. and i didn't chase them loh. the fashion design student or whatever kept chasing me away from the info kiosk things by moving in right behind me and breathing over my shoulder.

then later i wandered out of the gallery and visited the one next to it...it was on furniture by this architect called verner panton who didn't make a good architect but sure designed some cool chairs...haha...i wonder what i'll become in the future...i have no idea...architect? or something else? i'm loving archi, but i still dunno what God's plans for me are lor...

then i walked around the city a bit, had some icecream (i have a thing for ice cream. i love ice cream. i think ice cream can solve the world's problems...like, hey, lets have some ice cream before we start the war can...and then the ice cream (ironically) melts their hearts and they decide not to fight) and then i went to iluma @@ (i was looking for the singapore art museum lor...then i got sidetracked. randy will be pleased with me, i am trying to visit museums!) because the building looks really weird. it has funny hexagon things on one side and funny perforated metal things on the other side. i thought they were two buildings until i walked out the other side and realized i was in the same building (the idea of a changing facade is kinda nice, but dunno the execution of the idea nice or not...)

the toilet is interesting. haha. facing the perforated metal things...and it's exposed to the outside, and the long mirrors that follow the lines of the columns...quite an interesting toilet. and the elevator that covers three floors to the eating level is cool too. and the funny shaped things on the ceilings are cool too, but they all seem too facad-ey. surfac-ey. but i guess it's a matter of taste.

then i had dinner with someone very important to me (myself, what did you think) and now i'm back blogging...and yay, i will not be bloggin for another week because float makes me tired and i don't feel like blogging because i have too many important decisions to make. but i do like writing once i start, so that's why i write very very long when i actually do start. heh. goodnight. obama is a cool guy, you know. i'm reading his biography. was reading it all over the place. read it to someone special while on the bus, on the train, while having dinner..........