heartbreak and random stuff

hearts are very easy to break you know
i think i am heartbroken
:(

do you know how that feels?
aight, i know i heartbreak easily and it's mainly my fault haha

and my heartbroken-ness is always usually imaginary because i like to invent situations to be in. being heartbroken seems kind of the right sort situation to be in right now. erm, well. i suppose i'm crazy haha.

oh btw the above image was done with illustrator! i wish my com din lag whenever i use it though.
:)

eh, i admit i made up the story of being heartbroken because i happened to draw that pic while playing with illustrator. haha. but maybe i am heartbroken. how i know? why did i draw that pic and not any other pic? eh? ask freud.

or maybe i'm just kind of bored. owarimasu already. i need to get out of this room. and it needs a cleanup

haha, so what about all that stuff about waiting? well, actually, i really do want to wait...this song just seemed kind of right for this situation. oh actually i'm confused. perhaps one day, i'll be brave enough to ask: --さん、--のコンサートいっしょにいかがですか。

i'm creating situations! this entire blog post is a dud!! i'm going crazy and i need to go out @@

of sunsets and paper wings

i suddenly feel like a very boring person. this is the first time i've been bored to death after submissions and totally not feel like writing anything in my blog.

this blog will die soon. or become less and less personal.

i've been studying for my japanese test, but without much enthusiasm. the test is 30 percent, and i feel nothing much can be done to save my grade anyway, so why kill myself over it? but it's getting quite enjoyable, and i wish i had this much time during the semester to study japanese...

i've learned an awful lot this semester, about architecture and about life. it hasn't really been wasted.

i had the weirdest dream just now. i dreamed i went out in search of the perfect soft boiled egg. and i saw so many delicious soft boiled eggs all over the place and i was certain that would be the ONE. but then none of them really were...

btw my idea of the perfect soft boiled egg is the one where the yolk is JUST SET but still slightly runny, and the whites are all white but not quite set. well, i'll know it when i eat it lor. and add pepper and soy sauce and you have my dream breakfast...oh! with hot milo in those white porcelain cups on a small round marble table...white toasted bread with slatherings of homemade kaya and thick squares of butter. 美味しいですね！

i think gaily's description of the yih breakfast may have something to do with this weird dream of mine.

i've been getting chocolate cravings too. and i want to go jog tonight!! :))) i haven't jogged for so long...i think i will die but it will be an awesome sort of dying.

i love running because it makes me feel happy because i can think. you know the best time to think is when your legs are working building up lactic acid and getting slightly sore and the moon is over your head and your breath is coming at very consistent intervals and the thud of your feet on the track is becoming rhythmic.

and you are alone and you don't have to talk. and then it's just you and your mind and the universe and God.

i just changed my shampoo and the smell is very strong. everytime i change shampoo i become very aware of the smell, and then after a while i cannot smell it anymore.

chocolate rocks, so does marshmallows.

i want to see the sunset!! I want to see 44 sunsets within a day.

i want to see the sunrise with someone special. and years into the future i want to see the sunset with the same person and remember the special sunrise. pleasantly.

i want to jump off a cliff and realize i can fly.

i can't wait to get home. i need to get a bdae present for my mom (bdae on 27th nov) my dad (bdae on 4th dec) my sis and bro (both bdaes on 16th dec). i need to get christmas presents for everyone. heh. but i'm not sure what to get leh...

life is kind of beautiful :)

baubab

...oh and your baubab tree, it split my planet into a million little pieces

how nice it would be if all the little children retained their innocence and knew a little less about 'the real world' and knew more about fairyland and the little worlds in their imaginations...and maybe one day our world will be less of the 'real world' and more of a 'real-er world'...

how nice it would be if i loved to draw again, and loved to make pretty things, and loved to play and dream and think...while sometimes architecture makes me happy sometimes i'm just too tired to be happy...

how nice it would be to love :) i want my naive rose, thorns and all

samson

i love the way there are layers of meanings, all ambiguous. the best sort of stories are those that leave it to you, that if you stop and think for a while you can weave several stories from it, all off the top of your head. and you never know if it's true, so you just keep thinking of new stories, and all from a single song, or a single sentence from that song.

what a lovely way to spend a lazy saturday afternoon...

oh i do like regina spektor

oh and aren't all the origami beautiful? i wish architecture was anything you wanted it to be...other than tutors looking at what you do and saying: is that architecture? isit? how do they know what architecture is? or maybe...we're supposed to fight back.

infinite space

take me someplace
where there's infinite space

i'm feeling vaguely claustrophobic...i think i want to go somewhere with gigantic huge giant open space so that i can scream and holler and run and play and let myself go....but i think not in the above space (although it's awesome) because i might fall off the sides (but would that matter? it sounds somewhat liberating)

submission is almost owarimasu! i slept 16 hours last night :)

the large inflamed pimple on my left cheek has gone down significantly...the wonders of a good night's sleep..hahaha.

you know, one rather sad thing about life is that when it comes to other people, well, you can't make them feel how you want them to feel. sometimes, we just have to move on...even though there's still that little hope inside your heart.

hope can be both a wonderful thing, and a really painful one :(

uninspired

Consult the genius of the place in all;
That tells the waters to rise, or fall;
Or helps th' ambitious hill the heav'ns to scale,
Or scoops in circling theatres the vale;
Calls in the country, catches opening glades,
Joins willing woods, and varies shades from shades,
Now breaks, or now directs, th' intending lines;
Paints as you plant, and, as you work, designs.

Alexander Pope
Epistle IV, to Richard Boyle, Earl of Burlington

a little uninspired about design right now. need a good poem to cheer me up. wish randy were here. and even douglas darden's book condemned buildings, the guy who made me realize that architecture could be dark and sensual and beautiful....is borrowed out :(

of hearts and souls and fragility

image via photopost

'tis a morning thing, this dreamland, this strange, wild consciousness. i spoke once of faery, but this is real. where back then young minds filled with awe at that bewitching midnight hour, this budding mind hovering at that sharp edge of irresponsible youth and craggy maturity finds a similarity in the transitory world just before the mellow fires of dawn glow in shy blushing beauty in friendly morning skies.

that today will be a better day...for as always, there is hope

as for why half my posts are gone...well i've gone through a couple hours of heavy depression (this is how i cope, i delete blog posts and/or shut down my blog) and i needed those poems down there for sustenance.