...and no one ever mentioned fear...

oh nooo, i think i'm obsessed. hahahaha. shan't tell you what with.

today's message was SO TOTALLY NEEDED.

woot, i think God's trying to tell me something...

just shortly after friday's counselling session with the parents, i realized that i was saying no to tons of things...like this: "i'm not good enough, i cannot do this, i shouldn't try, i know myself well enough to know this is way out of my ability range etcetc..."

so, it occured to me that this verse was in order (thus, an extension to quiet time was established that night):

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self discipline.

yeth. and today's message was about limiting God. and i realize that whenever i say i can't, it won't happen, i know i cannot do it...i am limiting God...because when God says he can do anything, he can do anything, and that is it. just needs my faith to let it happen.

i guess there is the argument that if God turns something white can he turn it black at the same time...well whatever. since God is the creator of time i suppose He could. but anyway, that isn't relevant.

oooh, i love the part in the Bucket List where the secretary says to carter: "no, my name is actually Matthew but he calls me Thomas because he thinks Matthew is too biblical."

hahaha, ok sorry, digressed.

well, so the conclusion to the story is, i should stop saying i can't because i am afraid. i should say i can and go forth with the power, the love, and the self discipline and do what I SHOULD do...and not be afraid any longer.

...and no one ever mentioned fear...

because there must be no fear to start with...the only fear we need is the fear of God.

darn, i'm feeling rather afraid...hahahha...life is full of surprises...so many i think i want to just fall back and laugh my heart and head and everything off...

yeah...maybe then i'll feel better.

ohkay, tmr, i will remove this...but for tonight at least:

I HATE SINGAPORE. HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU WITH A BURNING PASSION

wishing i never went. wishing i just stayed in malaysia and then i could see mom and dad everyday and my brother wouldn't miss me because i'm the only sister he sees less often and (brings presents back with me).

yeah

step of faith? whatever...i just feel sad now, let me feel sad and tmr i will be myself again, caught up with work and moaning over THAT.