...and no one ever mentioned fear...

oh nooo, i think i'm obsessed. hahahaha. shan't tell you what with.

today's message was SO TOTALLY NEEDED.

woot, i think God's trying to tell me something...

just shortly after friday's counselling session with the parents, i realized that i was saying no to tons of things...like this: "i'm not good enough, i cannot do this, i shouldn't try, i know myself well enough to know this is way out of my ability range etcetc..."

so, it occured to me that this verse was in order (thus, an extension to quiet time was established that night):

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self discipline.

yeth. and today's message was about limiting God. and i realize that whenever i say i can't, it won't happen, i know i cannot do it...i am limiting God...because when God says he can do anything, he can do anything, and that is it. just needs my faith to let it happen.

i guess there is the argument that if God turns something white can he turn it black at the same time...well whatever. since God is the creator of time i suppose He could. but anyway, that isn't relevant.

oooh, i love the part in the Bucket List where the secretary says to carter: "no, my name is actually Matthew but he calls me Thomas because he thinks Matthew is too biblical."

hahaha, ok sorry, digressed.

well, so the conclusion to the story is, i should stop saying i can't because i am afraid. i should say i can and go forth with the power, the love, and the self discipline and do what I SHOULD do...and not be afraid any longer.

...and no one ever mentioned fear...

because there must be no fear to start with...the only fear we need is the fear of God.

darn, i'm feeling rather afraid...hahahha...life is full of surprises...so many i think i want to just fall back and laugh my heart and head and everything off...

yeah...maybe then i'll feel better.

ohkay, tmr, i will remove this...but for tonight at least:

I HATE SINGAPORE. HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU WITH A BURNING PASSION

wishing i never went. wishing i just stayed in malaysia and then i could see mom and dad everyday and my brother wouldn't miss me because i'm the only sister he sees less often and (brings presents back with me).

yeah

step of faith? whatever...i just feel sad now, let me feel sad and tmr i will be myself again, caught up with work and moaning over THAT.

i never knew

image via etsy

i never knew that returning to singapore could get me so down
i never knew that family was so important to me
sigh

i just want to stay here can...

sometimes i realize how much i don't know about myself. sometimes i realize that i feel alot more than i think i do.

i never knew i was so emotional.

just let me find that joy again...perhaps float and crazy hard work will help me forget my misery

i feel kind of self-centered. just refused to help someone fix a computer virus tmr afternoon at her place because i have to pack tomorrow...i vaguely remember a past me would help no matter what, and pack in the middle of the night.

what am i transforming into?...i need to get back on track, get my life into shape.

i probably can't help her anyway, right. virus removal isn't exactly a specialty of mine, but it piques me i cannot help.

and packing won't take me alot of time. why did i refuse.
depression is usually caused by too much free time to dwell on oneself, and too much self pity

me, i myself must be thrown out the window and priorities returned to where they belong hahah i am amazed by my stupidity, come let us be grateful

and above all, pray

lol, you know, typing all that morose things up there made me feel much happier...

bucket list har...bucket list!! I LOVE THE SHOW!! LOVE IT!!

exam results+day out with the soulmate :)

thank God my CAP's improved :)
badak and belalang cannot make it leh. mom and dad need me end june.
too bad. :(

facebook got it very wrong. i have a fantastically beautiful soulmate :)

that's a pint :P

she has great taste in food!

great taste in friends :)

great taste in restaurants...

that is a cool shelf...

when i'm older i will own a small restaurant and have shelves like these

lemme tell you that cheesecake is fabulous :)
earl grey sends me to the toilet, unfortunately...

had talk with daddy and mommy just now, a kind of share all the knowledge they have session...it can be very irritating and very enlightening. i learn alot from this sessions, and i learn alot of patience too. we usually have these sessions whenever i'm bound back for singapore hehe...

i've been feeling depressed lately, i think it's because i'm bound back for singapore.

well, like daddy says, i do feel my priorities are as follows:

1)relationship with God
2)relationship with my immediate family
3)my studies...everything else that is important to me and doesn't fall into the above two categories :)

parkinson's laws (and more):

1) Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

2) work expands if you don't do it right the first time.

well, i get alot of words of wisdom to chew on, at any rate. :)

i am so glad that i have parents who do this to me leh...

oh let me learn from everyone, from the road sweepers, from the beggar on the street. to be able to humble myself and realize that i can learn from everybody, and everyone in this world knows things i could never imagine and i never know and so i can learn from them...

it's so silly we have hierarchy. it's required here on earth i'm sure. but in heaven i believe some principles of communism could be implemented, when we have God at the helm. i think communism is a great idea. just it probably won't work here on earth.

hahaaha. don't stuff me in jail under the isa ok.

if you could read my mind

If You Could Read My Mind
Gordon Lightfoot

If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
bout a ghost from a wishin well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as Im a ghost that you cant see
If I could read your mind love
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel
The kind that drugstores sell
When you reach the part where the heartaches come
The hero would be me
But heroes often fail
And you wont read that book again
Because the endings just too hard to take

Id walk away like a movie star
Who gets burned in a three way script
Enter number two
A movie queen to play the scene
Of bringing all the good things out in me
But for now love, lets be real
* I never thought I could act this way *
And Ive got to say that I just dont get it
I dont know where we went wrong
But the feelins gone
And I just cant get it back

If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
bout a ghost from a wishin well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
But stories always end
And if you read between the lines
Youll know that Im just tryin to understand
The feelins that you lack
I never thought I could feel this way
And Ive got to say that I just to get it
I dont know where we went wrong
But the feelins gone
And I just cant get it back

i love these lyrics, i love the tune...i love that it's nearly poetry. i love the powerful images the lyrics conjure in my mind. i love that each and every phrase grasps my imagination and makes me feel there is more to the song than meets the eye.

this is a song i can just keep listening to. don't ghosts from wishing wells and castles dark and fortress' strong just stir the imagination? paperback novels, the kind the drugstore sells...

addicted! and daddy was the cause...he's yodeling it in front of me, because i just informed him that the lyrics could be obtained online. :)

A Forgotten Island Romance

A forgotten Island Romance

We are sitting inside IceIceBaby, next to Starbucks, thanks to Shereen. We have no internet connection.

the other one is taking the photo

Who are we? We are a group of investigators, searchers of lost stories. We find them out, and then we tell them.

We also help souls who have lost part of themselves, find them.

Today we have a story for you. It is a love story. A story of Prince Charming and a Lady of the Waters. It is a true story, as are all our stories.

Batu Feringgi Beach

he had trekked a long way (reproducing the scene)

It happened four years ago, this romance which lasted half that time. And where? Along the white beaches of Batu Feringgi, near the cold rocks and warm sand. He met her sitting upon the rocks, watching the gloomy wet sky. Weary from camping and seeking solitude, he had trekked quite a long way.

When he saw her, it was love at first sight. It was the long hair that did it. Our handsome prince had a thing for long hair in girls, the longer the better. Hers was one of the longest he had ever seen, all the way down to her heels. I’m kidding. Maybe to her waist. But whatever it was, it was love at first sight. Also, she was not very tall. She had to be a bit short, being that our prince was not particularly tall himself. And her eyes! Large as goldfishes! He fell for everything about her.
When he saw her, the gloomy skies cleared. The sun came out, and it set! The gods must be looking kindly down at them. How more romantic could it get?

striking a 'manly' pose

She saw him, and he struck a ‘manly’ pose. Or so he thought. Luckily her eyes were brimming with tears, so she did not see him very clearly.

“Oh! Why are you crying, lady?” our Prince Charming asked, Charmingly (that was his surname lah). “Would you like to see me dance?”

And so he jumped and pranced (for that was his specialty) and she laughed! She laughed, a lovely tinkling laugh. And he was smitten then. He knew his heart was forever taken from that second onwards.

romantic dinner at The Ship

He asked her if she would have dinner with him…and lo, she agreed! With a happy heart he took her hand, and together they walked to The Ship for a romantic dinner, with the (rather cute) waiters in sailor suits. There, she also started falling for him, because he was such a kind, nice Prince. They then went for a night stroll under the starry night sky…

“Isn’t it romantic?” said our Prince. (The song Starry, Starry Night started playing, I don’t know how). “To walk along this beach, just you and I, and the universe above our heads? Who knows what creature lies within these waters, these mysterious waters of the sea?”

“Oh but I know…” she said…but she said nothing more. He was too entranced by her beauty to notice.

An old Indian man with a turban looking like he had just stepped out of the Arabian Nights suddenly appeared next to them and asked them if they wanted to go parachuting. Prince Charming politely declined and continued walking. However, the Old Man was persistent. Prince Charming couldn’t say no. Nay, he was too soft hearted. But he was getting irritated, and as his temper rose the Old Man’s face began to change. Then the Old Man transformed into a horrible, fire breathing monster.

The Lady who was walking behind in her own reverie, looked up and her heart was moved. She could not stand such injustice, and immediately also, she transformed. Prince Charming had never seen such a thing in his life, so he promptly forgot this happened. And the fire breathing monster disappeared into ash, having faced justice, burned itself up.

She had saved his life. Prince Charming, if he had not fallen before, was now head over heels in love.

“Shall we meet tomorrow,” our prince asked. “I will bring you to eat the best Pau on Penang Island. And not only that. I will bring CAMRY (A beautiful black horse).”

“Yes we shall,” said the Lady.

he is very excited when she said yes...(reproduction of scene)

Dancing all the way back to KELISA (his pet mule) Prince slept early that night, so that he could wake up early, and his dreams were sweet.

But Prince did not wake up. Our Lady was forced to take a donkey to Penang Hill by herself, and went up the hill by herself, and watch the sunrise alone. It was so beautiful and she was sad because the view was just too enchanting and she wanted to share it with…with someone!

But when she returned to the foot of the hill, he came! And he came with CAMRY…how could she refuse to ride CAMRY??? He made it up to her. He brought her to Kek Lok Si Temple to see some of the beautiful statues and buildings there. She was awed, but the sun was very hot and she kept running from shadow to shadow. Puteri lilin indeed. This proved her royal blood to him.

wishing pond (reproduction of scene)

He secretly made his way to a wishing pool up the temple to make a wish. He threw a coin into it, and he wished…he wished that his happiness would never end…

They walked a long way and admired the whole of Kek Lok Si despite her ‘Puteri Lilin-ness’ because he was too lazy to move his CAMRY. She was getting very hungry because she hadn’t eaten breakfast! So after Kek Lok Si, he brought her to eat…LAKSA!! Oh noo….this was a bad move. The laksa was very sour, and it was not filling at all!! Oh why would our prince do that?

“I promised you I would take you to eat the best Pau in Penang, didn’t I?” he said gently to her as they climbed onto CAMRY. “I asked Milo Tin to buy Pau for you! We can eat it at my Palace in Balik Pulau…”

breathtaking scenery

But before he could buy the Pau, he stopped at Jimmy Tailor to collect his handsom-est coat. He had to look handsome in his Palace to her. They rode CAMRY through winding roads, and he brought her to the paddy fields! She was so excited, she had never seen paddy fields before!!

paddy fields!

And then he brought her to his favourite place somewhere up the hill, and the scenery there was breathtaking…she was awed, but she nearly fell down the mountain because she wanted to eat durian but he hates durian…and he didn’t want to mess up CAMRY.

where she nearly fell down...

After all the excitement, he bought the Paus…and then they made their way to his ‘very big’ palace! Before they had gone, SeKeTeng had told her that Prince’s palace was ‘VERY VERY BIG’ and she was excited to see it!

very cute servant: hairy

However, when she reached, she discovered that it wasn’t really very big…it was only as big as her toilet! But the Pau was very good…and he had a very cute servant called Hairy. The Lady loved the brown sugar Pau the most!!!*

(*if you had been wondering why he had brought her to eat laksa earlier, it was because he knew it was not filling and so later he could bring her to his palace.)

Yummy pau

While he was preparing the candlelit Pau lunch, she started nosing around the house. She saw his family, and he had a very pretty sister!! And oh…his elder brother is even handsomer than him!! After that the Pau lunch and the wine…she had a very good sleep in front of the TV on the sofa. He was very kind and did not wake her up. Kek Lok Si was very tiring.

25 cents satay

Around 4pm, they went to have 25 cents satay. He was very worried that it wasn’t open, but it was, and it was quite cheap and good! She ate 60 cucuk!! Very good satay.

very good satay

“We shall meet tomorrow again, won’t we?” Prince asked.

“You must wake up early,” she said.

They went out again, and they had a wonderful time! They went to the dam, and the scenery was beautiful! They went to a very bad food centre at Gurney Drive, where the girl at the Apom store was very pretty (Seketeng and Prince both agreed). And then they also visited a wonderful Indian restaurant where they had food on Banana Leaves, and the lady was attracted to a handsome Indian Waiter there with a moustache! Prince was so jealous, so he kept on asking for more Popadoms (because it was free-flow) and more and more until the restaurant manager sent him the bill to chase him away. The lady was very angry and she stole CAMRY’s reins and he was very worried...

banana leaf

Said she: “if CAMRY comes to life when we go to him later, we are destined to be together forever!”

And then he said: “Give me back his reins lah!! I am very worried.”

They reached CAMRY, and he came to life! Prince Charming felt a lot better. But she said: “Hurry up and go…this place very dark very dangerous. Fai di fai di…”

They spent a wonderful two years together, with a lot of wonderful adventures. Then suddenly one night she said: “I have to go back to my world. I forgot to tell you, I am actually a Lady of The Waters (romantic way of saying mermaid) and I am going back to the sea to be married! Bye bye Prince Charming! I had a lovely time with you…but I really have to go!”

The Prince no longer believed in long distance relationships. It just couldn’t work out.

oh princess, princess, where are you? I miss you so much...
(reproduction of scene)

Prince was heartbroken. From that day onwards, he became very strange. He started dancing and posing everywhere he went. He walked very funny. Then he liked to grow his hair long long because it reminded him of her. And then when he drives CAMRY or KELISA and he hears music he will dance. It scared us investigators a lot.

Prince is still very sad about it, and very heartbroken. This is our gift to him because we can sense his sadness and want him to be happy. We hope he can forget this princess and find another one, maybe on another island somewhere and live happily ever after, just like what happens to most prince charmings.

We have finished our mission. The ice cream is eaten. We hope you have enjoyed our story.

-written by the powerpuff girls+1!!!
at IceIceBaby

at kek lok si temple

trip up Penang Hill

batu feringgi

guess who?

shereen, moi, wenqiao, thierry and wei jian (seketeng)
gurney drive

a bit more updating...

hmm, so updating because mummy has banned me from painting the whole house (she hates the smell of paint, and i guess cleaning oil-based paint off my hair isn't one of her hobbies). Luckily tmr I AM GOING TO BAKE GIDDY'S CAKE or I will die of boredom.

last night I brought lloyd and si jia to the connaught night market! They bought an awful lot of stuff, and I was there mainly to help in the bargaining. haha. then it was so late later that mummy freaked out and didn't let me send them back to their hotel but made daddy fetch instead, which is good, because i have no idea where their hotel is, except that it is next to dad's office. so it was great cos dad brought us around the city to look at buildings that could be of architectural interest to us (and the national mosque actually looks fabulous after midnight) and etc etc. nice. so they are off to kota bahru and penang later.

ooh ya and yiptheyay me moi i am off to penang on monday! ~weee

daddy read more of the Magician's Nephew tonight, and then something else hit me!! Hahaha. i tend to blog about dinner sessions alot everytime i'm back, don't i...yah, so this part sounds just lovely:

Both the children were looking up into the Lion's face as he spoke these words. And all at once (they never knew exactly how it happened) the face seemed to be a sea of tossing gold in which they were floating, and such a sweetness and power rolled about them and over them and entered them that they felt they had never really been happy or wise or good, or even alive and awake, before. And the memory of that moment stayed with them always, so that as long as they both lived, if ever they were sad or afraid or angry, the thought of all that golden goodness, and the feeling that it was still there, quite close, just round some corner or just behind some door, would come back and make them sure, deep down inside, that all was well.

cos that's exactly how it is, isn't it? you always feel safe, no matter what, because there's Him, and He's always there.

UPDATE-O

well, nothing much to blog about, but just to announce i'm still alive...

home is perfectly wonderful, as usual. i just painted the dining room today, and i'm planning to do the whole house! hahaha. don't ask me why i got into the diy thingthing...i just felt like it. i do weird things sometimes. the dining room looks so nicenice! but it smells kind of bad, so we're having dinner in the living room in the meantime. i so know how to move my family yeahh...

home-cooked food is the bestest!! haha. giddy's birthday is coming soon (16th)...and i'm going to bake a cake! ~wee!! i hope i will get my camera soon. @@ it's not nice not having a camera (argh, blogging is difficult without photographs (cos they take up alot of space, and it looks like i blogged alot even when i didn't). Dad is trying to persuade me to get a high end point and shoot rather than a dslr (i think the price took him aback.) but anyway. i may get a high end point and shoot i dunno. somehow the weight of a dslr bugs me. but i'm not sure. this is troublesome.

planning to go to penang next week, but thierry wants to go back to singapore on the 22nd. WHY. i have a date with bobo and the pizzahut gang on saturday, so the earliest i can go will be on sunday. argh. i'll just go there we don't need thierry do we? hahaha. hmm, must get hold of a camera before i go...

so many things on my to-do list!! haha. so fun. now i go do somemore fun things.

ehhh, yeah, i have something to blog about. chim things. cos daddy has been reading narnia at the dinner table again (we go through the narnia series over and over again. weird but then that's dad). i rather liked the time we finished 'the lost princess' by george macdonald because it was something different...but i love the narnia series. it may be kind of childish but everytime i read it i find something new to learn.

the part he read about was the part where diggory had taken the apple and grown it in narnia. oh help it's so long and i don't think i can explain everything. Read 'The Magician's Nephew', the first book of the Chronicles of Narnia and then you'll know.

alright, so what i realised here was that there are things you are meant to have, but if you go about the wrong way to get it, you will be miserable forever.

my sis is forever worrying about how her application results will be like. i guess i did too back then. but now i realize that God really kind of pushed me into the right place. i'm glad i'm doing architecture at nus. i pray God will push my sis into where she's supposed to be too! hahaha. God is really good. He always guides me in everything i do! even though i can't see it at the time...

okay, enough crapping nonsense. see...when i have nothing to blog about but have to blog then i come up with all the whirling things going on in my head that have no head or tail and are pretty incoherent. hahaha.

oh yeahohyeah my parents LOVE the parker pens i got them..heheee...thanks sila for the suggestion!! Happy mother's day mummy!!